We at the Lucky Puppy refuse to let Helen Keller to fade from American history.
The Texas Board of Education voted on Friday to remove Helen Keller from the mandatory history curriculum in Texas schools. Helen Adams Keller was an American author, political activist, and lecturer. She was the first deaf-blind person to earn a bachelor of arts degree.
HOW DID HELEN KELLER DRIVE?
ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL AND THE OTHER ON THE ROAD
WHAT WAS HELEN’S FAVORITE COLOR?
COURDAROY.
WHY WAS HELEN’S LEG YELLOW?
HER DOG WAS BLIND TOO.
WHY DID HELEN MASTURBATE WITH ONE HAND?
SO SHE COULD MOAN WITH THE OTHER.
HOW DID HELEN’S PARENTS PUNISH HER?
THEY REARRANGED THE FURNITURE.
I bet you didn’t know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back garden?
Neither did she!
What do you call Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis?
Endless love.
Helen Keller walks into a bar…..
Then a table…..
Then a chair.
HOW DID HELEN BURN HER FACE?
ANSWERING THE IRON.
HOW DID HELEN LEARN TO MASTURBATE?
BY READING HER OWN LIPS.
IF HELEN KELLER FELL IN THE WOODS, WOULD THERE BE A SOUND?
HOW COULD HELEN FIND HER BABY?
BY NOT CHANGING THE DIAPER.
WHY DID HELEN KELLER CROSS THE ROAD?
WHAT ROAD?
WHAT’S HELEN’S FAVORITE STORE?
WAAAAAA MAAAAAART.
WHAT DID HELEN KELLER’S GYNECOLOGIST DO?
INVITE HIS BUDDIES OVER TO WATCH.
HOW DID HELEN MEET HER HUSBAND?
ON A BLIND DATE….DUH.
WHAT WAS THE WORST DAY IN HELEN’S LIFE?
SHE BURNED HER TONGUE SO SHE COULDN’T TASTE ANYTHING EITHER.
