The Space Shuttle Challenger

Today is the anniversary of the Shuttle Challenger explosion.

challenger-shuttle disaster

 

 


Why did the NASA engineers want to postpone Challenger’s launch?

They wanted to wait for the Fourth of July.


What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts.


What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she boarded Challenger?

While I’m gone you feed the kids and the dog ans when I get back I’ll feed the fish.


Contrary to popular belief, Felix Baumgartner wouldn’t be the first person to break Mach 1 in freefall – he’d be the 8th after the entire crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger in 1986……..


Christa’s eyes were blue.

One blew this way and one blew that way.


Why did the crew of the Challenger die?

NASA couldn’t afford a Blaupunk stereo AND a back up escape system.


judith-resnik-and-christa-mcauliffeMy girlfriend said she wanted to be the woman to get fucked on a Space Shuttle.

I think the girls on Challenger beat her to it.



 

Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?

Ocean Spray – It was their second choice because they couldn’t get 7-UP.


What does a sea lion and  the Challenger have in common?

They’re all looking for a tight seal.


What did the kids watching the Challenger launch scream?

“NO HOMEWORK!!!!”


What’s the difference between the Patriots and the Challenger?

The Patriots made it past Miami.


 

What About the Columbia?

What goes up and doesn’t come down?

Columbia.


NASA now stands for Need Another Shuttle Again.


What does the Shuttle Columbia and Ted Bundy have in common?

They both left bodies in four different states.


The Sheriff in Midland, Texas found a severed penis in the middle of Main Street.

He immediately identified it as a Shuttle Cock.


NASA determined that the Challenger and Columbia crashes are connected.

The shuttles are blowing up in alphabetical order.


What should you do if you find a piece of the Space Shuttle Columbia?

Sell it on eBay.


Why aren’t NASA engineers good at crossword puzzles?

They couldn’t get seven up or seven down.


Why can’t the Republican’s keep politics out of the Columbia investigation?

They keep blaming it on the left wing!


What did the crew of Columbia miss while they were in orbit?

The Runway.


WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

The “Last Words” from Challenger.

Click to enlarge.

THE CREW RECORDINGS

“All shuttle astronauts carry personal recorders and the tape in question apparently came from Christa’s (McAuliffe), which was recovered after the shuttle disaster,” said Hotz. Jarvis was sitting beside her, and when he figured out what was happening he said, “Give me your hand.”

“NASA insists there’s nothing like that on tape but they’re talking about the mission tape, not Christa’s. So they’re not lying, but they’re not telling the truth, either.”

A journalist with close ties to NASA was even more emphatic, “There are persistent rumors, dating back to the disaster, that this tape is absolutely bone-chilling.”

The following transcript begins two seconds after NASA’s official version ends, with pilot Michael Smith saying, “Uh-oh!” Times from the moment of takeoff are shown in minutes and seconds and are approximate. The sex of the speaker is indicated by M or F.

T+1:15   (M)   What happened? What happened? Oh God, no – no!

T+1:17   (F)   Oh dear God.

T+1:18   (M)   Turn on your air pack! Turn on your air…

T+1:20   (M)   Can’t breathe… choking…

T+1:21   (M)   Lift up your visor!

T+1:22   (M/F)   (Screams.) It’s hot. (Sobs.) I can’t. Don’t tell me… God! Do it…now…

T+1:24   (M)   I told them… I told them… Dammit! Resnik don’t…

T+1:27   (M)   Take it easy! Move (unintelligible)…

T+1:28   (F)   Don’t let me die like this. Not now. Not here…

T+1:31   (M)   Your arm… no… I (extended garble, static)

T+1:36   (F)   I’m… passing… out…

T+1:37   (M)   We’re not dead yet.

T+1:40   (M)   If you ever wanted (unintelligible) me a miracle… (unintelligible)… (screams)

T+1:41   (M)   She’s… she’s… (garble) … damn!

T+1:50   (M)   Can’t breathe…

T+1:51   (M/F)   (screams) Jesus Christ! No!

T+1:54   (M)   She’s out.

T+1:55   (M)   Lucky… (unintelligible).

T+1:56   (M)   God. The water… we’re dead! (screams)

T+2:00   (F)   Goodbye (sobs)… I love you, I love you…

T+2:03   (M)   Loosen up… loosen up…

T+2:07   (M)   It’ll just be like a ditch landing…

T+2:09   (M)   That’s right, think positive.

T+2:11   (M)   Ditch procedure…

T+2:14   (M)   No way!

T+2:17   (M)   Give me your hand…

T+2:19   (M)   You awake in there? I… I…

T+2:29   (M)   Our Father… (unintelligible)…

T+2:42   (M)   …hallowed be Thy name… (unintelligible).

T+2:57   (M)   You…over there?

T+2:58   (M)   The Lord is my shepherd, I shall… not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures… though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil… I will dwell in the house…

T+3:15 to end.   None. Static, silence.

Rest in Peace

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