Thanksgiving is that time of year when families gather around the table for awkward conversations. Here are a few tips to get through those moments with style and grace.
|IF…||YOU CAN SAY….|
|The Turkey tastes like sheet rock.||“Pass the gravy please.”|
|If the gravy tastes like motor oil.||“No thank you, this is delicious without it.”|
|If you sister begins to breastfeed at the table.||“That kid sure has a healthy appetite.”|
|Your brother shows up with a hooker.||“That’s a lovely shade of red, bless your heart.”|
|Your ex shows up.||“Come into the family room, the kids will LOVE to see you.”|
|Drunk Uncle Bob mentions Donald Trump.||“Well, we won’t have to worry about that until next November.”|
|Uncle Jim mentions the New England Patriots.||“The Pilgrims were the original patriots.”|
|Uncle Bob mentions the Carolina Panthers.||“The panther is a fierce animal.”|
|Bob and Jim break into a fist fight.||“Uncle Jim, can you say Grace?”|
|Grandson takes a shit.||“A Mother’s work is never done.”|
|Son refuses to pray to “Zombie Carpenter”.||“Let’s have a moment of silence.”|
|Niece whips out and brags about her new boob job.||“Can you help me in the kitchen Dear?”|
|Daughter screams and runs from the room.||“Our little girl is becoming a woman.”|
|Grandpa dies at the table.||“Let’s move Opa to the sofa where he can be comfortable.”|
2 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Conversation Tips”
hahaha. These are so perfect.
Thank you for becoming a Loyal Reader Patti. Continue to read us and make comments. We appreciate it.