OMG! It’s Hot as Fuck Outside

The Summer of 2013 is going down in history as “Toasty”.  Records are being broken all over the Southwest.  The forecast for Death Valley this weekend is 130 in the shade.  FOUR degrees short of the all time high.  Phoeniz Arizona might hit 120. Two degrees off the record. Las Vegas will top out at 117.  This heat wave is expected to last through the weekend when it will cool down to what we call “Sweater Weather”.  You folks might call it 90 degrees.


When I worked at MaCarren airport here is in Vegas we played “The Jetway Game”.  Waiting for the passengers to come off the plane we kept score.

One Point- For anyone saying “It’s HOT!”

Two Points: For anyone saying, “But it’s a DRY heat.”

Three Points: For anyone asking you how you can work in the weather.

For the three pointer I’d usually reply. “I don’t know.  If it gets any colder I’m putting on a sweater.”

This is a blooper not photoshopped.



Signs of the Apocalypse.




Obama Takes Control of Hurricane Earl – Aims It at North Carolina

President Obama predicted the landfall of hurricane Earl by declaring North Carolina a disaster area while the storm is still out to sea.  The president hoped to bolster sagging polls in North Carolina by punishing non-believers with a Flood.  Governor of North Carolina, Bev Perdue (D)  and the Governor of Virginia Bob Mcdonnell also declared their states disaster zones.

Invoking his Constitutional Powers to Control the Weather, President Obama vowed to not repeat the mistakes of the last eight (or maybe 10) years.

To prepare for Earl, driving regulations have been suspended in North Carolina and Virginia.  Tourists have been urged to move “a little inland” while leaving their cash and valuables in their rooms for “safekeeping”.  Sea turtle nests have been scooped up and moved to safety. Sharks have been left to their own devices. FEMA has issued a Stage One Zombie Alert fearing that Zombies will come ashore on the storm surge.

The Navy destroyer, U.S.S. Cole has been ordered to leave North Carolina and sail for it’s home port in Virginia.  Naval Officials failed to notice that VIRGINIA is also slated for destruction right after North Carolina.

In a late breaking news item, Maryland has announced its desire to be a disaster area like North Carolina and Virginia.