Thanksgiving Conversation Tips

Thanksgiving is that time of year when families gather around the table for awkward conversations. Here are a few tips to get through those moments with style and grace.

The Turkey tastes like sheet rock. “Pass the gravy please.”
If the gravy tastes like motor oil. “No thank you, this is delicious without it.”
If you sister begins to breastfeed at the table.  “That kid sure has a healthy appetite.”
Your brother shows up with a hooker. “That’s a lovely shade of red, bless your heart.”
Your ex shows up. “Come into the family room, the kids will LOVE to see you.”
Drunk Uncle Bob mentions Donald Trump. “Well, we won’t have to worry about that until next November.”
Uncle Jim mentions the New England Patriots. “The Pilgrims were the original patriots.”
Uncle Bob mentions the Carolina Panthers. “The panther is a fierce animal.”
Bob and Jim break into a fist fight. “Uncle Jim, can you say Grace?”
Grandson takes a shit. “A Mother’s work is never done.”
Son refuses to pray to “Zombie Carpenter”. “Let’s have a moment of silence.”
Niece whips out and brags about her new boob job. “Can you help me in the kitchen Dear?”
 Daughter screams and runs from the room.  “Our little girl is becoming a woman.”
Grandpa dies at the table. “Let’s move Opa to the sofa where he can be comfortable.”


Dems in House May Spark Turkish/Iraqi War

In another bonehead move, House Democrats are moving forward on a non-binding resolution to censure Turkey for committing atrocities against Turkish/Armenians in 1915! During the Reagan administration a similar bill resulted in Turkey baning U.S. forces from using Incirlik AB for two years.

Turkey is a key staging area for the war in Iraq. If Turkey bans U.S. forces again, troops in Iraq will be hard pressed to get resupplied with food, medical supplies, weapons and ammunition. A pretty neat end around trick to force the U.S. out of Iraq without getting shit splattered on the Democrats.

President Bush called on House leaders Wednesday to abandon the measure. “Congress has more important work to do than antagonizing a democratic ally in the Muslim world, especially one that’s providing vital support for our military every day.”

Bush also said at a Wednesday news conference that “… one thing Congress should not be doing is sorting out the historical record of the Ottoman Empire.”

The bill’s sponsor is Rep. Adam Schiff, D-California.

Rep. Adam Schiff

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California, has said the measure will be put to a floor vote before the recess, despite resistance from members of her own party, including Rep. Ike Skelton, powerful chairman of the House Armed Services Committee. By a 27-21 vote last week, the House Foreign Affairs Committee adopted the resolution, which formally identifies the killings as genocide. Turkish officials acknowledge the killings of Armenians during World War I but vehemently object to the designation “genocide.”

As this stunt back fires, many in Congress are rethinking their position on the bill.

Reps. Alcee Hastings of Florida and John Tanner of Tennessee, both of whom serve on the House delegation to NATO have sent a letter to Pelosi urging her to drop the bill that would “threaten our operations and our troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Eight former U.S. secretaries of state also oppose the resolution: Alexander M. Haig, Jr.; Henry A. Kissinger; George P. Shultz; James A. Baker III; Lawrence S. Eagleburger; Warren Christopher; Madeleine K. Albright; and Colin L. Powell. They sent a letter to Pelosi last month urging her not to let the resolution reach the House floor.

Six former co-sponsors have abandoned the measure since last week, leaving it with 218 co-sponsors.

At this stage, whether or not Pelosi drops the issue is mute, the damage has been done. Turkey is ratcheting up its military actions against Kurdish factions along the Turkish/Iraqi border. Turkish shelling has been reported and with an overwhelming majority, the Turkish government on Wednesday cleared the way for a cross-border military incursion into northern Iraq in order to chase down Kurdish rebels based there.

Thank you Nancy Pelosi. Has your naked quest for power completely blinded you to what’s in the best interest of our country? Has the radical Left and their irrational hatred of the President taken such complete control of the Democratic Party that you’re willing to do anything that furthers their agenda?