He’s My Baby Boy. Number Two Son. Son 2.0.  He’s the reason that his brother isn’t an only child. His Big brother summed it up quite well. “Welcome to the Thirties. It’s not so bad.” This is the story of the Day Timm was born.

My Son Timothy.

Let’s start this story at the beginning. The very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.   His Mom and I took Brian from Texas to Virginia to visit Grandma and Grandpa. It was Christmas time and Washington D.C. was all snowy and Christmassy.   After banging out the Holidays, we were taken to Grandma’s House. or should I say Great Grandma’s Farm up in Clintwood Virginia. A picturesque Appalachian coal village in the TriState. Where Virginia,Kentucky and Tennessee all come together. Clintwood is so small that the folks go over the hill to Butcher Holler for a night on the big town.


The place oozed Romance. I was trying to capitalize on that fact at bed time. Mom balked calling attention to the fact that her Parents were in the next room.  I said. “Sh,sh,sh..listen.” We could hear the classic squeaky springs sounds coming from the other bedroom.  “See,” I said “They’re busy.”

It was October 10th , 1982. The Day We Made Timmy. Keep that in mind in becomes important later in the story.


Timmy on his first birthday watching his brother bogart the kite he got from Granpa.
Timmy on his first birthday watching his brother bogart the kite he got from Granpa.

Timm (yes two M’s) was due in September but he kinda took that as a suggestion rather than an appointment. Since we stiffed my parents for his brother’s birth we invited them from California to Laughlin AFB, Texas for this Blessed Event.  We had Blackstone-Hicks contractions  all through September. We became regular ER visitors and were on a first name basis with the staff. Contractions were nice and steady. Start at 20 minutes and march down to five minutes apart and stop. As September wound down, Mom’s favorite OB Doctor McW said he was going on vacation for October and told her to have a Nice Baby.  Mama said she’d wait for him to get back. To humor her, Doc set an appointment to induce on the day he got back.

Off to the E.R…..again and again and again….

As October crawled by, Mom was completely done being pregnant. I was completely done with my parents LIVING with us.  I even took her on a Stage Coach ride to induce labor. Nothing. Timm had his fingers and toes clawed into the walls and not coming out.

2 NOV 1982

Inducement Appointment. Nine AM.  Mom and I were sitting in the OB/GYN waiting room when she asked me what time was it?

It was 0908. She said “Good”.

I said, “Good what?”

“Contractions. They’re under five minutes now.”

OH SHIT!! All hell breaks loose. Into the wheel chair and… WHOOSH..she’s off to delivery. When I get there, all the nurses have been trying to get an I.V. started. No Luck. Crusty R.N. asks, “Are you Dad? If you are, better get changed.” She hands me some scrubs. Out to the bathroom and back. On the way I glimpse another labor in progress. Filipino wife…standing on the bed. Hmmmm?

Now they have the anesthetist trying for the I.V. She’s cute. She’s blonde. She’s on her knees. She’s concentrating really hard. Yes….blood flow. Good stick. She’s holding with her finger as she asks for a Band Aid. As she reaches for the Band Aid, Mom’s blood pressure pushes the needle out. Blonde starts crying. In fact all the nurses in the room do a collective moan that sort of sounds like “Fuck!”

At this point Mom proudly announces that her water has broken. “Are you sure you didn’t pee, Sweetie?” says Crusty.  Blonde looks up at her, baby juice soaking her scrubs. “Yes her water broke!”

Right that very second, Doctor McW decides to reappear. He startles me by using some secret back door.  He’s in his Blues (4B’s for you USAF readers who are keeping score).  Mom hated the other OB and he appears at the front door.  Mom says something classically preggo like “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!” Doctor McW says, “Okay we’re moving. Dad. Push.”

So we have to move Mom twenty feet or so from the Labor into the Delivery Room. I’m pushing gurney. McW is steering with one hand and pulling at his shirt with the other. Only Mom, Doc and I make it to the Delivery Room. No one else has had time to scrub. Doc HateHim is standing at the Red Line and throwing masks at us, telling us to put them on.  Crusty is yelling for me to put Oxygen mask on Mom. Doc McW never gets his uniform shirt off but has it unbuttoned in a casually sexy sort of way.

I never get a good “PUSH two three four five six seven eight.” out. So much for Lamaze class.  So much for drugs. Timmy falls out.  Doc McW askes, “Well Joyce, what did you want?” Mom props herself on her elbows. Tries to get a look at her new baby and says “A Girl????”

“Nope, you have another healthy son.”

“Shit.”, says Mom and lays back down.

Doc McW looks at me. I look at him. Then to the crowd at the door. The nurses all looking at me.

“Wrap him up. We’ll take him.” says the Proud New Daddy.

Freshly scrubbed reinforcements from the Nurses Brigade arrived and cleaned up Number Two Son. This gave me pause to remember the Mission Briefing.

“After delivery. the father will carry newborn into Nursery.”

Oh shit. That’s a good thirty feet of walking. Loyal Readers will remember that I dropped Number One Son. That Story is here for newbies.

Swaddled and  raring to go, Timmy was handed to me. His eyes were closed.

Timm and I crossing the Abyss that was the Nursery.
photo credit- Grandma

The Primary Target was the warming tray. um… I mean incubator. Loving grandparents and friends were beaming through the viewing window. I concentrated on the Final Approach. Three feet. Two feet. Timm comes to a hover a couple of inches off the pad.

Timm wakes up with a squirm.

I went “EWWW!” and jerked away.


He opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time with that “What the Hell?” look he still gives to this day.

timmy and the horse
Timmy and the neighbor’s horse in Gutenthal, Germany,1985.




Other Stuff That’s 30

  • The Compact Disk
  • Chris Pines
  • USA Today
  • The Weather Channel
  • The Personal Computer
  • LeAnn Rimes
  • Kelly Clarkson
  • “Late Night With David Letterman” debuts on NBC-TV

“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.”
–Daniel Boone, born this day in 1734


Halloween Costumes


What’s Halloween if not a chance to dress up in a wacky, spooky, sexy or politically incorrect costume?

Here are some from our scrapbook.

For the record that was me going through the drive up window at Burger King on my way to a Halloween party.

1977- That’s a REAL World War Two Flying Helmet.

My Mom died just before Halloween in 1983. A bright moment of the trip was the chance for my son Brian to do his first Trick or Treat in my old neighborhood. After a couple of shy stops, he then took to swinging his light saber back and forth to clear the porch of fellow trick or treaters.

1st Halloween
1983- Brian’s First Treat or Treat

Here we are two years later at Grandpa’s House in California. Tim and Brian got to Treat or Treat TWICE that year because Laughlin AFB did theirs early. Is that Timmy wearing the Transformers? How could that be?

halloween 1985
1985- Grandpa’s House

That’s Timmy (Number Two Son) wearing my Gi in Germany. Was I ever that small? Wow.

Timmy- In Germany 1988.

Equal Time- That’s me when I was three and out for my first Trick or Treat. We also had a costume party at the NCO club there at Fort Lee, Virginia. I won first place AFTER I took off the mask.

me 1961
Me- 1961

After a couple of trips to Turkey you wind up with the whole Get-Up. We call the head dress “The Table Cloth and a Couple of Fan Belts” .
A “Bush for President” campaign button rounds out the costume.

Me- Germany 1990.

It was supposed to be “An Old Man” but with the silver hair combed back and contacts I became Bill Clinton. I had a small bottle of fake blood which made the “Patient” get worse as the night went on. We won Second Place.

1998- First Halloween with Lissa.
Halloween 1998
Halloween-1998 L-R Tim,Andy,Lissa,me. Front row: Josh and Tony.

Here we are again. This time in recycled Ren Fair Outfits.


We would decorate the house for Halloween like most do for Christmas.  It was our Anniversary.  In 2004 we had a full up Haunted House on our porch. Scary music, smoke, cobwebs, jack-o-lanterns that talked. I was Death, with a voice changer. Lissa sat on a Playskool chair and we put a cardboard box on her. We covered the box with black cloth and she wore a basket like a necklace. Grey makeup and hair color spray and lace scarf over her and she was ready. Full sized candy bars were put out as bait.

A little princess. maybe six years old inched towards us with her teenaged brother in tow. I lifted my mask and said it was okay. As she was getting her treats, her brother was eyeing the Hershey bar. As he reached for it, Lissa cocked her head up and said, “Happy Halloween”.
He screamed, “SHIT!” as disappeared into the night like a cartoon character leave his little sister on the porch. She turned to Lissa and said,
“Cool idea.”
She left our porch munching a full sized Hershey bar.

Halloween 2004

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Our Last Halloween together.

Here are some Lucky Puppies dressed up for Halloween. Check out the Stereo Speaker and the Table Cloth and a Couple of Fan Belts.

Halloween in Germany -1988
Amy as a really good Fiona.
Pam- As a Really Good Witch. How ironic.
andy zombie
Zombie Andy!!!!!
2008- Trick or Treating with Mom AND Dad.

Could she smile a bigger smile than that? I think not.


After the divorce, we took turns dressing Rosie up for Halloween.  Mom won the series with “Supergirl”.

Halloween 2014
Indian Spring NV

In the daytime, Jamie looked like this. 2018
Badass Witch.

More Halloween Here