Rosie found this on Tumblr and sent it to me.  It’s hilarious…..if you speak German.  I’ll give translating at shot.




Isn’t that the thing you stick pictures in  to hang them on the wall?

No, those are frames, a Ramen is a black bird.


No, that’s a crow. Ramen is the thing people are given when they’re born so that people will know who they are.



No, you mean Name.  You mean that thing you have on your skin, which you get when you have an operation.


No, that is a scar.  Ramen is another way to refer to women.







No those are Dames.  Ramen is what you stick in the ground and a plant grows out.

No, that is a seed.  Ramen is the whole lawn.


No, that’s a race.  Ramen is a boy’s name.

No, that its Ramon. Ramen is a rabbit  that tells time.


Sprechen Sie Deutsch?  Kann Sie mir hilfen?  Bitte im, “the comments” ihren Übersetzung schreiben.


Your Website has Malware on It!

Well…maybe it doesn’t.


Hell hath no fury like an angry webmaster who hasn’t yet had her coffee.

This is an email  received from the “security” firm SiteLock, a partner company of the popular website hosts HostGator.com and Bluehost.com.

Notice the wording:  One or more of the domains you own has malware on it.
Fairly clear, right?  One of her sites is infected with malware…it says so right in black and white.  Bad news, but I’ve never been one to hit the panic button before it’s time.

I calmly go to HostGator’s tech support “Live Chat” to ask them about this.  I paste the email into the box so the technical support rep can see what I’m contacting them about.  I ask: Is this legitimate? What happens next?

Over the course of the conversation, I learn from the tech dude that SiteLock is their partner company. And I learn, in fact, there’s no evidence of malware. The site MIGHT be infected, he says, but no one really knows for sure.  In order to truly find out, my client would need to purchase an expensive malware prevention package from SiteLock, so they can peek inside and see if there’s malware there.  If there is, they’ll charge another fee to get rid of it.


Hemming and hawing ensue.

I’ll spare you the gory details of my response, which nearly set the curtains ablaze. I want you to think I’m much more patient and kind than I happened to be this morning.

Why am I bothering to tell you this?

Well…aside from being angry about a concerted effort to drum up business by sending good people into a panic about their website?  Good people who might not be terribly techie, or who may be busy…..gosh I don’t know….building their business?  So instead of helping depressed people, doing reiki healing, selling their art, finishing their book, booking new coaching clients or raising kids they have to spend their life energy dealing with service provider scams—from the very people they are already paying every month to keep their website running.  Infuriating.

Sorry. I got carried away.

In short:  Anyone whose website is hosted with the company HostGator.com, or with Bluehost.com, its partner company under the conglomerate parent company EIG, is likely to receive one of these emails soon, if you haven’t already.  I wanted you all to know what this particular game was, so you can watch for it.