When the 37th Tactical Fighter Wing deployed to Desert Storm 247 people went through the DT’s.
Life on the Tonopah Test Range was harsh. Stuck in the middle of a God forsaken desert for a week at a time, Team Stealth partied hard. When you walked through the doors of the Rec Center you were in a hallway. The Weight room was on the right and the Bar was on the right. You were always confronted with the dilemma. Should I get work out and then get drunk or should I get drunk and then fuck around with the rowing machines. You had to prove to the pool room monitor that you were sober before they’d let you swim in the Olympic sized stainless-steel swimming pool.
Saudi Arabia’s no alcohol policy caused some problems and sparked creativity. One gentleman got a kidney infection when he downed three cases of O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer. We personally celebrated New Years’ with Nyquil. Might I recommend the Green with Seven-Up on ice.
One night found me at ops. A pilot noticed that my morale needed a boost and took mercy on me. “Here son, let me show you something”. He took me into a small room. A couple of table and chairs. A fridge stocked with sodas. One whole wall was cabinets. Just when I thought I might be offered a blowjob, he closed the door and said, “Turn around.”
The back of the door was completely covered in porn. Lots of playboy and “action” shots.
“We call this the “What are We Fighting for Wall.”, he said.
“Are you thirsty?”
With that he slid back the bottom cabinet. There were two shelves inside. One had twelve feet of bottles of Scope mouthwash. Bottom had 12 feet of Listerine.
“What’ll you have. Vodka or Scotch.”
GOD BLESS THE 37TH TFW OFFICER’S WIVES CLUB!
They were sending care packages to the fighter pilots they loved so far away.
The Scope bottles had vodka with green food coloring. The Listerine bottles, scotch and water.
Iran’s new agency FARS announced the public debut of the Iranian Air Force’s fifth generation stealth fighter.
The domestically-designed fighter jet, codenamed Qaher-313, was unveiled on the occasion of the Ten-Day Dawn celebrations commemorating the victory of the 1979 Islamic Revolution. The Ten-Day Dawn period starts with the anniversary of the historic return of the late Imam Khomeini from exile on February 1, 1979 and ends with the victory of the Islamic Revolution on February 11. Defense Minister Brigadier General Ahmad Vahidi, Air Force Commander Brigadier General Hassan Shah Safi, Army Commander Major General Ataollah Salehi and a group of senior military officials were present in the ceremony.
The wingspan of the flying prototype in that video probably has a wingspan of a massive 48 inches. Yeah, a remote control model. The Iranians must be smoking awesome dope to believe that we’d fall this pathetic attempt of one-upmanship. Take a close look at the picture. the canopy is made from the finest plastic. Those struts are made of wood. Yeah it could be a mock up like we make in the Good ‘Ol USA. But we eventually built an actual aircraft. The Iranian aircraft industry has come with a “Farce Generation Fighter”.
On the cutting edge of Islamic aeronautical engineering, the Qaher 313 (NATO code word: ASSCRACK) has an onboard Koran driven computer system which controls a vast array of awesome weaponry and stealth systems not seen in public since Star Wars Episode III. Armed with Lanridan Zabzab (NATO code name: LIMPDICK) radar homing missiles and Tajjub Kafal (NATO code name: BUTTSEX) Infrared homing missiles it also has a massive 9mm cannon for dealing with close targets. The Bashalam airborne radars and identify targets from as far away as CNN or even Fox News.
Check out the “pilot”. Will they make a Qaher 313 in an adult size or is the Iranian Air Force fielding midgets. This reminds me of the reduced scale “Have Blue” stealth prototype. But that was eventually scaled up to the F-117. Iran says this is the final design.
And while we’re at it, what is the Farsi translation of the word “DANGER”. The only hazard back here might be bumping your head. On second thought, if you did bang your head you’d probably crack the “super secret stealth” Styrofoam.