Women in Combat

Recently the decision has been made to allow American women to serve in combat positions.  Before you decide on whether this is good or bad watch this.

Many oppose women in combat because they might face torture and rape if captured.  The Kurdish women of the YPJ (Yekîneyên Parastina Jin) have an answer to that;  they don’t surrender and they don’t take prisoners because ISIS prisoners tend to blow themselves up.  They also carry one single bullet to kill themselves if threatened with capture.  Barbaric you say.  During the battle of the Little Big Horn, the Sioux were allowing one soldier of Custer’s command to escape to tell others of this victory.  Just as he was well away from the battle he drew his pistol and shot himself.

Many American women who are veterans currently fight along side the PKJ.

Sniper Advice

As we plod through our dreary lives, we inevitably are throw into awkward situations where we find ourselves needing to gracefully extract ourselves. Please consider these tried and true tactics:

When you’re late for work.
Say: “I was dodging Sniper fire.”

If someone notices the Band-Aid you’re wearing.
Say: “The Sniper almost got me.”

Your Mother-in-Law knocks on your door.
Do: Scream “SNIPER!” and slam the door.

You call in Sick.
Say: “A Sniper got me”.

When you’re bored at an office meeting.
Yell: “SNIPER!!!!”

When you’re pulled over by the police.
Say: “I was dodging Sniper fire.”

During periods of Erectile Dysfunction.
Yell: “SNIPER!!!”

When you find yourself embarrassing your wife in public.
Say: :”She was dodging Sniper fire.”

When you are caught lying.
Say: “I only thought I was dodging Sniper fire”.

When you burn dinner.
Say: “It was the Sniper fire”.

When you’re trying to impress someone.
Say: “I was a Sniper in Bosnia.”

When someone notices that nasty scar you have.
Say: “A Bosnian Sniper did that to me.”

When you fart.
Yell: “SNIPER!!!!”

No doubt you have other examples. Please add them in a comment.