As London Hosts Olympics British Team Still Missing

London 3 August 2012-  As the 2012 Olympic Games enter the second week, the British team seems to have been misplaced.  Londoners have been joking and complaining that making their way around town has gone from difficult to impossible as the World has descended on the city.  The host country traditionally gets about a 60% boost in the medal count. To date, Team GB have not found their way to the medal podium as much as they had planned to.  Concerned fans fear they may be stuck in traffic.

Here’s the Stella-Adidas Preview of the Brit Kit.

At the time of this post Great Britain’s medal count stands at 15.  Which means they’re edged out by the USA Swim Team by four  medals. But 15 still puts the home team in a solid seventh place. It pales with the 47 they won in Beijing.

GB’s mixed badminton team.

Italy and Australia trail in eighth place with eleven medals.

Canada stands alone in ninth place, seven medals.

There’s a gaggle with six medals. The Netherlands, Romania and the Ukraine.

North Korea has won all the medals. Okay they REALLY have won four golds and bronze. Which means their families will be allowed to eat.

After that it’s mostly onesies and twosies. No wait…Mexico has four. But none of them in swimming.

Meanwhile they’re keeping a stiff upper lip over at www.teamgb.com/ .   Look for them to medal in:

  • Sailing
  • Rowing (They have already won a Silver in Coxless Four. Go figure)
  • Track
  • Cycling
  • Any of the Horsey Events

So if you spot one of “Great Britain’s Greatest Team Ever” wandering the streets of London, give a the Bloke a hand by contacting Team Great Britain and tell them where you found them.

Tel:  +44(0) 207 842 5700
Address: 60 Charlotte Street, London W1T2NU
E-mail: boa@boa.org.uk

 

 

 

Shit That Falls Out of My Mouth

I’m working on a list of the “Socially Charming” things I’ve been known to say out loud. Feel free to quote me on things you’ve heard me say.

“You will be a lot less angry once you come out of the closet.”
“You think. Don’t you?”
“No, I’m not a Nazi, but my Mom was”.
“Are you thinking? You want a pillow and lay down? ” I know it hurts the first time.”
“Why don’t I repeat myself and use little words this time.”
“No, the fat makes you look fat.”

“Of course I’m fat. If you look closely you can see ex-wives and girlfriends impacted on the surface.”

“In goes the Good Air. Out goes the Bad.”

“Fell down? Did you not compensate for Earth’s rotation?”

“Who died and left you in charge?”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“And you’re saying this because……?”

“If you want, I can act dumber so that we’ll have something in common.”

“Not now, the grown ups are talking.”

“Hi? Not now, maybe later. Thank you for asking.”

“I’m an Only Child. Sharing is someone Else’s problem.”

“I promise to be nicer if you promise to be smarter.”

“No. You’re LYING.”

“Don’t make me drop a house on you.”

“Here she comes in her pick-up truck shaped broom.”

“I know how you feel. No….Wait…yeah that was gas.”

“Well let’s just blame you, shall we?”

“The Truth hurts huh?”

“It wasn’t my fault. It the girl’s fault. My Dad said it’s always the girl’s fault.”