Long Live the Queen

royal_family

As a long time Anglophile, this post has been a long time coming. When my first wife and I divorced, we didn’t argue about the kids, or the money. We argued about who got the Chuck and Di dolls. I was with my family, watching a AAA baseball game in Las Vegas when she died.

chuck and Diana dool

So without further ado, I present to Loyal Readers, some trivia of the House of Winsor. Some are true. Some are flights of humor. It will be up to you Loyal Reader to sort them.

  • The Royal Family is German.
  • The code word for the Queen’s death is LONDON BRIDGE.
  • Because Prince Charles is related to Vlad the Impaler, it is rumored that HRH is a vampire.
  • The wedding of Charles and Diana is the most viewed televised event in World history.
  • Princess Anne’s wedding cake was made by the Royal Army Caterer Corps.
  • During the London Olympics, Princess Anne presented her own daughter, Zara a silver medal.
  • Princess Anne is the only member of the Royal Family that has a criminal record.
House Rules
  • Two of Queen Elizabeth’s Aunts were diagnosed as an “Imbecile ” and an “Idiot”.
Katherine Narissa
Edward and Wallis
King Edward VIII abdicated the Throne to marry the commoner, Mrs. Wallis Simpson.
  • Wallis Simpson was both a commoner and a divorcee. Therefore, Edward was forbidden to marry her.
  • Prince Charles married the divorcee Camilla Parker-Bowles.
  • Prince Willian and Prince Harry have both married commoners.
  • It is rumored the the Queen approved marraige to commoners in order to “prop up” the Winsor gene pool.
Queen Elizabeth II
  • Queen Elizabeth wears garish colors so that her security detail can easily see her.
  • The Royal Armor Group provides security for the Queen and Royal Family.
  • The RAG has a color code for the Queen’s clothing that determines her current mood.
Diana Alive in Crash
Diana was assassinated on orders from the Queen.

Will and Kate

What’s the best advice Kate Middleton can get before she marries Prince William?

“Always wear your seat belt.”

Prince William and Kate Middleton are going to have a fairy tale wedding, much like Charles and Diana’s.
You know the one where the brakes on the carriage are cut and the prince marries one of the horses.

What will Katey have on her wedding day that Diana wished she had?

A sober limo driver.

So, Prince William dropped his chopper into Kate Middleton’s backyard the other day.

I’m sure there’s a double entendre there somewhere but I just can’t see it.

 

 

Why was Prince Charles seen crying at the wedding?
His only son was getting married.

Kate’s wedding night will be against her Will.

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