White Woman Calls the Cops on a Black BBQ

Here comes the charcoal  police.


April 29, 2018,Oakland, Ca – At around 11:20 AM a white woman approached a black man named Deacon for having a BBQ grill at Lake Merritt today.
She told him he could not BBQ there and called the police. She would not leave Deacon alone. A young black woman was walking by overheard how the white woman was harassing him telling him he can not be there, she stopped and asked the woman to leave her alone. The white woman became aggressive with the woman. She started filming the woman’s aggressive behavior and has told us it’s up on Facebook (probably a live stream).
Shortly after that Deacon’s friend Kenzie arrived. According to Kenzie, the woman said “Oh another nigger.” She proceeded to tell all three of the people at the BBQ table that she owned the park, and they are not allowed there. She also said them they were going to jail.
Kenzie’s wife was up the street finishing brunch at Lakeshore Ave. He texted her a picture of the white woman and said: “If I go to jail this who did it to me.”
The video starts at 12:50 pm.

The police did not stop the BBQ. They spoke with Deacon about an hour later and said they were BBQ-ing in a permitted zone.

This Dr Jennifer Schulte, is a (allegedly) Stanford University professor.  The police department recognizes her number and no one wants to come out. She does this on a regular basis. That’s funny the police are screening her calls.

I can’t believe you’re not glued to the screen watching the drama unfold.  If you want to cut to the chase, this is when the cops finally do show up.



My Football Lingo

It has come to my attention that I sometimes scream at the TV.  Especially during Football games. To allay concerns of family and friends I humbly offer some of my Football Lingo.

First of all there only two real teams in the NFL. “The Beloved New England Patriots” whom I cheer for in honor of my Father, may he watch football from Heaven. In addition there are  “The Formerly Beloved Raiders” aka the Oakland Raiders whom I cheered for before becoming a fan of  “The Beloved New England Patriots”.

There are a few general rules concerning my teams.

  • There is a five yard penalty with loss of down for touching Tom Brady. He must not be disturbed while leading “The Beloved New England Patriots”  to victory.
  • “The Beloved New England Patriots” never choke. At some point in the season they choose to spend more time with their families and simply go home to be with them.
  • “The Formerly Beloved Raiders”  never cheat. They are playing hard to win.
  • Any penalty assessed to  “The Formerly Beloved Raiders” will not be interpreted as wrong doing on their part. Rather it’s just the officials noting that the opposing team are whiny pussies. This rule applies to  “The Beloved New England Patriots”  as well.

Other So Called Teams

What I Say                                                  You Know Them As…

The Cows                                                         The Cowboys

The Kittie Cats (or Kitties)                        The Panthers

The Barbequers                                              The Buccaneers

The Sheep                                                         The Rams

Josie and the Pussy Cats                            The Jaguars

Fags                                                                    The 49er’s

The Ain’ts                                                         The Saints

The Titsburg Feelers                                    The Steelers

The Crows                                                         The Ravens

The Midgets                                                      The Giants

The Birds                                                            The Cardinals

The Cheese Heads                                           The Packers

The Ponies                                                         The Broncos

The Teddy Bears                                              The Bears

The Buzzards                                                     The Falcons

The Batteries not Included                          The Chargers

The My Little Ponies                                       The Colts

The Queefs                                                           The Chiefs

The Foreskins                                                     The Redskins

The Sea Gulls                                                       The Sea Hawks

The Beagles                                                          The Eagles

The Shit                                                                  The Browns

The Jills                                                                  The Bills

The Been Gays                                                      The Bengals

The Liars                                                                 The Lions

The Fish                                                                   The Dolphins

The Boat Boys                                                       The Vikings

The Mexicans                                                        The Texans

The Goats                                                                The Rams

Al Qaeda                                                                   The Jets


The cheerleaders of “The Beloved New England Patriots” are referred to as “Girlfriends”. The cheerleaders for “The Formerly Beloved Raiders are “Significant Others”. All other NFL cheerleaders are Hookers. Three National Football League Teams have never had cheer leading squads. The Steelers, the Lions and the Giants. Also the Broncos currently have no cheerleaders. This because none of the players on these teams like girls.

Game Play

Anytime a player is injured or sometimes when they’re just standing on the side lines, you may see them offered a “Sippy Cup”.

“Sippy Cups”.

If a member of  “The Beloved New England Patriots” or “The Formerly Beloved Raiders”  is seen partaking from a “Sippy Cup” it is assumed that said “Sippy Cup” is filled with Jack Daniels. Especially “The Formerly Beloved Raiders”. With any other team it can be assumed that the “Sippy Cup” contains milk, formula or Pedialyte.

In addition, any time a “Sippy Cup” is spotted it is totally appropriate to scream “SIPPY CUP!!!!!” and consume your favorite adult beverage. Bonus points if you own your own “Sippy Cup”.


This post contains terms that are copyrighted and are the sole property of the National Football League. The use of these terms can be deemed a form of parody and is protected under the Fair Use Rule. This disclaimer  is  published to prevent the National Football League suing my ass for everything I’ve got. I pray that they don’t send some huge pipe-hitting thugs to get medieval on my ass.