April 29, 2018,Oakland, Ca – At around 11:20 AM a white woman approached a black man named Deacon for having a BBQ grill at Lake Merritt today.
She told him he could not BBQ there and called the police. She would not leave Deacon alone. A young black woman was walking by overheard how the white woman was harassing him telling him he can not be there, she stopped and asked the woman to leave her alone. The white woman became aggressive with the woman. She started filming the woman’s aggressive behavior and has told us it’s up on Facebook (probably a live stream).
Shortly after that Deacon’s friend Kenzie arrived. According to Kenzie, the woman said “Oh another nigger.” She proceeded to tell all three of the people at the BBQ table that she owned the park, and they are not allowed there. She also said them they were going to jail.
Kenzie’s wife was up the street finishing brunch at Lakeshore Ave. He texted her a picture of the white woman and said: “If I go to jail this who did it to me.”
The video starts at 12:50 pm.
The police did not stop the BBQ. They spoke with Deacon about an hour later and said they were BBQ-ing in a permitted zone.
This Dr Jennifer Schulte, is a (allegedly) Stanford University professor. The police department recognizes her number and no one wants to come out. She does this on a regular basis. That’s funny the police are screening her calls.
I can’t believe you’re not glued to the screen watching the drama unfold. If you want to cut to the chase, this is when the cops finally do show up.
It has come to my attention that I sometimes scream at the TV. Especially during Football games. To allay concerns of family and friends I humbly offer some of my Football Lingo.
First of all there only two real teams in the NFL. “The Beloved New England Patriots” whom I cheer for in honor of my Father, may he watch football from Heaven. In addition there are “The Formerly Beloved Raiders” aka the Oakland Raiders whom I cheered for before becoming a fan of “The Beloved New England Patriots”.
There are a few general rules concerning my teams.
There is a five yard penalty with loss of down for touching Tom Brady. He must not be disturbed while leading “The Beloved New England Patriots” to victory.
“The Beloved New England Patriots” never choke. At some point in the season they choose to spend more time with their families and simply go home to be with them.
“The Formerly Beloved Raiders” never cheat. They are playing hard to win.
Any penalty assessed to “The Formerly Beloved Raiders” will not be interpreted as wrong doing on their part. Rather it’s just the officials noting that the opposing team are whiny pussies. This rule applies to “The Beloved New England Patriots” as well.
Other So Called Teams
What I SayYou Know Them As…
The Cows The Cowboys
The Kittie Cats (or Kitties) The Panthers
The Barbequers The Buccaneers
The Sheep The Rams
Josie and the Pussy Cats The Jaguars
Fags The 49er’s
The Ain’ts The Saints
The Titsburg Feelers The Steelers
The Crows The Ravens
The Midgets The Giants
The Birds The Cardinals
The Cheese Heads The Packers
The Ponies The Broncos
The Teddy Bears The Bears
The Buzzards The Falcons
The Batteries not Included The Chargers
The My Little Ponies The Colts
The Queefs The Chiefs
The Foreskins The Redskins
The Sea Gulls The Sea Hawks
The Beagles The Eagles
The Shit The Browns
The Jills The Bills
The Been Gays The Bengals
The Liars The Lions
The Fish The Dolphins
The Boat Boys The Vikings
The Mexicans The Texans
The Goats The Rams
Al Qaeda The Jets
The cheerleaders of “The Beloved New England Patriots” are referred to as “Girlfriends”. The cheerleaders for “The Formerly Beloved Raiders are “Significant Others”. All other NFL cheerleaders are Hookers. Three National Football League Teams have never had cheer leading squads. The Steelers, the Lions and the Giants. Also the Broncos currently have no cheerleaders. This because none of the players on these teams like girls.
Anytime a player is injured or sometimes when they’re just standing on the side lines, you may see them offered a “Sippy Cup”.
If a member of “The Beloved New England Patriots” or “The Formerly Beloved Raiders” is seen partaking from a “Sippy Cup” it is assumed that said “Sippy Cup” is filled with Jack Daniels. Especially “The Formerly Beloved Raiders”. With any other team it can be assumed that the “Sippy Cup” contains milk, formula or Pedialyte.
In addition, any time a “Sippy Cup” is spotted it is totally appropriate to scream “SIPPY CUP!!!!!” and consume your favorite adult beverage. Bonus points if you own your own “Sippy Cup”.
This post contains terms that are copyrighted and are the sole property of the National Football League. The use of these terms can be deemed a form of parody and is protected under the Fair Use Rule. This disclaimer is published to prevent the National Football League suing my ass for everything I’ve got. I pray that they don’t send some huge pipe-hitting thugs to get medieval on my ass.