Here are some thoughtful predictions for 2021 that have been compiled by the crack staff at The Lucky Puppy.

• 2020 model cars will start disintegrating.
• COVID19 will mutate into a form of airborne AIDS.
• Your cell phone number will be revealed as the Mark of the Beast.
• President Biden forms a commission to prove that birds don’t exist.
• Heterosexuality will be outlawed.
• The Government will video tape you 24/7.
• Gingers will form a new political party.
• Marijuana will be legalized nationwide, as well as Heroin and LSD.
• White privilege cards will have a $500 limit.
• Early voting will begin in April for the 2024, 2030 and 2034 elections.

• Gender will be entirely eliminated.
• Sasquatch is finally proven to be real and are registered Democrats.
• 200K 2020 election ballots are found aboard the International Space Station.
• Hurricanes will start being named after cars.
• Donald Trump creates the Office of the Ex-President.
• Flogging returns to the U.S. Navy.
• The U.S. Space Force reveals that they have been living on the Moon since 1975.
• A nuclear detonation obliterates Detroit, but no one seems to notice.

• The voting age is reduced to 16, the drinking age is reduced to 14 and the age of consent is reduced to 10.
• Jesus returns, throws His hands up and promptly leaves.