list – The Lucky Puppy

Congratulations President Biden! With that said, I’m going to need some help from my Democratic Liberal friends:

Can I borrow the #NotMyPresident hashtag or is that reserved for President Trump?
Do I have to accept the election results, or can I cry for four years, claiming election interference?
Am I entitled to see Biden’s tax returns to learn how his income jumped dramatically in one year?
Am I allowed to trash anything that Biden says, without repercussion, because I’m just expressing myself?
Is there a sign-up somewhere for riots, do organizers call me, or how does that work, since I didn’t get my way?
Are businesses targeted because they supported Biden, or do I just pick a business that has something I want to take home?
Were the thousands of businesses that boarded up for fear of riots, for Conservatives or Liberals? If they were for Conservatives, did I miss the riots already???
Where are the safe spaces at? Is there a map or something? I may need to go cry for a little bit.
Does all the free stuff your party has promised, just come or do I have to quit my job first?
What is the address you guys have been sending all that extra tax money to, since you think people aren’t paying enough in taxes? I’m sure you have been voluntarily sending in more than required…
When my 401K crashes, will the President Elect make up for that in give-a-ways, or am I just screwed?
Since Socialism is what you just voted in, if my neighbor has something I want, do I just take it or do I have to let him know I’m taking it? Personally, I have had my eye on the brand NEW Mercedes SUV, a couple of doors down .
When gas gets unaffordable, is there an EBT card for that?
I have seen the gatherings of Conservatives protesting the election results, but something is wrong, nothing is getting destroyed. Did you guys go to a class for that, or could you provide some pointers on how to do it right, please?
The Conservative gatherings were dubbed super spreader events, yet the protests and now election gatherings by Liberals, are not. Did you guys secretly come out with the vaccine?
Funny how the CDC has come up with a vaccine, soon after you were pronounced the President Elect. Can you, all your family, and colleagues take it first, to ensure it works?
So, now you are President Biden, is every death now on you, or is it President Trump’s responsibility, just at your convenience?
Who do I contact to see if Republicans are boycotting the Inauguration, like the Democrats did for President Trump?
During Biden’s State of the Union Address, is Nancy going to tear up the speech on national television, or does she only do that with President Trump?

I’m sorry for all the questions, this is all new to me. I want to make sure I get it right!

Here are some thoughtful predictions for 2021 that have been compiled by the crack staff at The Lucky Puppy.

2020 model cars will start disintegrating.
COVID19 will mutate into a form of airborne AIDS.
Your cell phone number will be revealed as the Mark of the Beast.
President Biden forms a commission to prove that birds don’t exist.
Heterosexuality will be outlawed.
The Government will video tape you 24/7.
Gingers will form a new political party.
Marijuana will be legalized nationwide, as well as Heroin and LSD.
White privilege cards will have a $500 limit.
Early voting will begin in April for the 2024, 2030 and 2034 elections.

Gender will be entirely eliminated.
Sasquatch is finally proven to be real and are registered Democrats.
200K 2020 election ballots are found aboard the International Space Station.
Hurricanes will start being named after cars.
Donald Trump creates the Office of the Ex-President.
Flogging returns to the U.S. Navy.
The U.S. Space Force reveals that they have been living on the Moon since 1975.
A nuclear detonation obliterates Detroit, but no one seems to notice.

The voting age is reduced to 16, the drinking age is reduced to 14 and the age of consent is reduced to 10.
Jesus returns, throws His hands up and promptly leaves.