Where’s Your Bed?

I was the unofficial NCOIC of Pranks and Practical Jokes.  As a Tsgt, folks came to me and cleared their antics with me.  They were really asking how much trouble they would get into.  I vetoed many and was ignored a lot.


7. M-80’s will not be lit and then flushed.

34. Spiking anyone’s drink with ex-lax is just not funny.

43. Do not replace pictures on the Crew Chief board with sexually suggestive photos.


I did approve  of one great prank.

Incirlik AB, Turkey- Tom Ira and I were partners playing pinochle.  We were playing for money, a penny a point. We were cheating.  While chatting: sex meant hearts; work meant spades; money meant diamonds; drinking meant clubs.  We were winning a lot.  Someone burst into the room and yelled, “Mike McKinney just super glued dimes to every door lock on the second floor.  What should we do to him?”  Without out looking up I said “Give him an Easter Egg Hunt.  This usually meant taking his shit and spreading it around the dorm and having him hunt it down.  These boys went a step further.  Earlier, back at Hahn, the weekend duty crew expressed their displeasure by moving the ENTIRE Flight Chief office downstairs and installed in it the latrine.


They took Mike’s bunk and at first, tried to put it the showers and turn the water on.  It didn’t fit. They then reassembled the bunk on top of the toilet stalls.  Including making the bed and piling his dirty clothes on it like they found it in his room.


Good buddies that they were, they got Mike God’s Own Drunk.  They then FILMED HIM finding all his stuff and his bed gone.  Then they filmed him wandering the dorm looking for his stuff.  He did go into the Latrine and walked write past his bunk. He didn’t look up.

This is a photoshop recreation.

I think he passed out on the floor of his room, cuddling what he found. I can’t vouch for that or what happened to the bunk.

I do know that on our next trip to Incirlik a certain pilot keep writing up the airplanes with bullshit. Like “Bombs missed target”. This cause long hours of meaningless troubleshooting.

He got an Easter Egg hunt with his stuff and bunk were placed on the roof of their motel style quarters.

Then it rained.

If you have pictures or the video of this prank send it to me.  Pictures of FCF’s stuff in  the shitter would be great too.  I know you took pictures.


It was a dark and stormy night. A group of drunken crew chiefs decided it would great fun to pinch a four foot fiberglass chipmunk off of the mini golf course at Incirlik AB, Turkey. Safely hidden in a wicker basket, Chippie was awaiting his place on a cargo pallet. It was then that the First Sergeant (an evil man, who did not belong to our squadron) found Chippie and returned him to the rightful owners.

A year later, we returned to Incirlik. By then, Chippie had become a squadron legend. An Airman, on his first TDY (forever known as my Assistant Crew Chief) saw Chippie on the mini golf course and said to the groundskeeper, “Is that Chippie?”. The groundskeeper asked, “Are you from Hahn?” In one of his smartest moments, Mike replied, “I’m from Spangdahlem.”

Thus alerted, the groundskeeper took Chippie from the course each night and locked him in the shed with the lawn mowers. The “Chippie Team” appeared to be thwarted.

My small contribution was to mention that a combination lock, identical to the one used on the shed could be purchased at the local base exchange. Team Chippie swung into action. They diked the old lock from the shed and nicked Chippie. As they left, they replaced the lock.

Chippie remained secure in the TAB-V’s for the balance of the TDY.  During which time, he was trained in various aspects of F-16 maintenance.

Doing forms.



LOX servicing.
Chippie was safely palletized and was awaiting loading into the C-130. It was then that the groundskeeper busted the caper. With squadron morale and esteem on the line, the pilots chipped in and bought Chippie.

This fact was kept secret for years.

Chippie came home triumphant. Riding in the suicide seat of the bus we had to use. He was ensconced on a shelf up high in the AMU admin shelter. During exercises, he worn an eye patch and was draped with a pirate flag.

When Hahn was closed, Chippie was kidnapped. He was repainted Gold, then Blue. In the last sighting he was painted gold, blue and orange. Where is he now? No one knows.
He has passed into legend.