Meals Ready to Eat

Some are.  Some are not.  My personal favorite was Ham Slice.  The only piece of real meat in the US system. We have recipes.


Take all the drink components.  Coffee, orange drink, creamer, sugar. Mix together. Can be served both hot and cold.  Drink.


Don’t get excited, there is no bread.  Every MRE comes with John Wayne Crackers.

John Wayne Crackers with Peanut Butter and Jelly spreads.  PBJ’s your mother wouldn’t feed to the dog.

With Menu 2, Tuna and Noodles you can make a tuna fish sandwich. Season to taste.

Menu 8 is the Ham Slice which makes an excellent ham sandwich if you slice it thin and use the Cheese Spread.

Menu 11, Chicken ala King makes a pretty good chicken salad sandwich.

That beats the ass off of our MRE’s.


Menu 5, Spaghetti with meat and sauce.  Another favorite served both hot and cold.  It came with a tiny little bottle of Tabasco Sauce.  To this day, I put Tabasco in my spaghetti.

MRE’s come with heaters now.  Back in the day, we had to improvise.  I was in the Air Force.  If the F-16 was launching, I’d clamp a packet back where the exhaust would heat it up.  Distance to the exhaust took some experimentation. Too close and the meal would blow out the back or explode.  If the jet was broken and a  “-60” power unit was in use, you just clamp the packet with Vice-Grips and (with gloves) roast in the 60 exhaust.  Another option was to use the heater in the crew chief shack.  Just laid them on top.  When they puffed up, they fell out perfectly heated.

There were rumor of new menus.  Steak and Pancakes.  Ours were made in 1968 so no new menus for us.  However the Maple Bar was a doughy piece of delight that tasted like pancakes and syrup.  I’d save that to eat for breakfast when the sun came up.



Menu 3, Beef Patty with Bean Component.  We never ate the Beef Patty.  It had ants in it.

Menu 4, Omelet with Ham.  The cats wouldn’t it this shit.  We force the Iraqi prisoners to eat it.


Chief Killian said we HAD to eat the MRE’s because there would not be fast food in combat.  When we went to war in Desert Storm, Haji would bring 16 Pizza Hut Large Supremes right to the shelters of out F-117’s.

What was your favorite?  What did you refuse to eat.






God Bless the 37th TFW Officers Wives Club

When the 37th Tactical Fighter Wing deployed to Desert Storm 247 people went through the DT’s.

Life on the Tonopah Test Range was harsh.  Stuck in the middle of a God forsaken desert for a week at a time, Team Stealth partied hard.  When you walked through the doors of the Rec Center you were in a hallway.  The  Weight room was on the right and the Bar was on the right.  You were always confronted with the dilemma.  Should I get work out and then get drunk or should I get drunk and then fuck around with the rowing machines.  You had to prove to the pool room monitor that you were sober before they’d let you swim in the Olympic sized stainless-steel swimming pool.



Saudi Arabia’s no alcohol policy caused some problems and sparked creativity.  One gentleman got a kidney infection when he downed three cases of O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer.  We personally celebrated New Years’ with Nyquil.  Might I recommend the Green with Seven-Up on ice.


One night found me at ops.  A pilot noticed that my morale needed a boost and took mercy on me.  “Here son, let me show you something”.  He took me into a small room.  A couple of table and chairs. A fridge stocked with sodas.  One whole wall was cabinets.  Just when I thought I might be offered a blowjob, he closed the door and said, “Turn around.”

The back of the door was completely covered in porn.  Lots of playboy and “action” shots.

“We call this the “What are We Fighting for Wall.”, he said.

“Are you thirsty?”

With that he slid back the bottom cabinet.  There were two shelves inside.  One had twelve feet of bottles of Scope mouthwash.  Bottom had 12 feet of Listerine.

“What’ll you have.  Vodka or Scotch.”


They were sending care packages to the fighter pilots they loved so far away.

The Scope bottles had vodka with green food coloring.  The Listerine bottles, scotch and water.

I had one scotch and water and coke……on ice.