COVID-19, also known as the Corona Virus is spreading like rumors that you are a slut. Here are some handy bits of info to help you survive the 2020 pandemic.
- Do not touch anyone.
- Do not touch your face.
- Wash your hands at least five times a day.
- Use hand sanitizer every time you touch something.
- Make your own sanitizer with aloe vera gel and alcohol.
- Stay at home.
- Wear a mask.
- Use bleach on your door knobs.
- Never open your front door.
- Avoid having sex.
- Only eat canned food and only after you sanitize the can.
- Drink as much alcohol that you can tolerate to sanitize your internal organs.
- If you must go out, burn your clothes upon your return.
- Forget using toilet paper. Instead, shower every time you poop.
- Wash your money.
- Rain spreads the Corona Virus.
- Try to get every one you know arrested.
- Push “sketchy” family members out the door.
- Sanitize or kill your pets.
- If you don’t have rubbing alcohol, make sanitizer with aloe vera and gasoline.
- Avoid being abducted by aliens.
- Shave all hair from your body.
- Shave the pets you want to keep.
- Give sleeping pills to your small children you so they no longer want to play outside.
- Make cleaning you guns a family activity.
- Fire bomb your car.
- Destroy your television and any device that connects to the Internets.
- If a family member coughs, murder them and burn their body.
- Kill yourself to prevent infection,