Armed with little more than some borrowed tools, a few pieces of scrap metal, some spare wood and a single handgun between them, a plucky band of racist children began work on the stalled border wall outside of Brisbee, Arizona today.
The kids, numbering an even dozen of both girls and boys between the ages of 5 and 12, exalted what they envision will be a “cool and ginormous wall” that will, “Keep all the beaners out.”
“We’re sick of all the spics coming over here and taking all our jobs,” Aiden Pruitt, 10, remarked. “My dad used to be an airplane pilot, but now he just sits around drinking and yelling at us all the time.”
Asked whether his father was replaced by an illegal immigrant, the boy confronted the reporter, who was Hispanic, inquiring whether he was, “Some kind of a wise ass.”
“I came here to do two things: build a fucking wall and kick some Mexican ass,” the boy said. “And it looks like we’re all out of wood and shit.”
As of press time, the racist children had completed approximately twenty feet of border wall, leaving nearly 1,954 more miles to go.
According to an NBC News, Donald Trump, accompanied by select members of his cabinet, toured a chem trail outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon.
As the partial government shut down stretched to historic length, President Trump offered solutions to end the deadlock. Vowing to end expensive and pointless programs, the $7 billion OPERATION MYSTIC MIST is on the chopping block.
President Trump read a prepared statement in front of a converted Boeing 767.
Anonymous White House sources revealed that MYSTIC MIST and other similar black programs have been in progress since the late 1980’s. The chem trail Boeing 767 is but one of a variety of airborne platforms used.
Other pointless programs will be terminated:
$518,000 in federal grants to study how cocaine affects the sexual behavior of Japanese quails.
$1,4 Billion a year for 770,000 for unused and underused federal buildings.
The Army Corps of Engineers spends $5 billion annually constructing dams and other water projects that are not necessary or fictitious to ensure the line item budget for the Army Corps of Engineers is not reduced.