The Lucky Puppy is proud to announce the first of a series of debates between our Beloved President Barrack Obama and his opponent Governor Mitt Romney. Tonight’s moderator will be Anderson Cooper.
Cooper: Good evening and welcome to tonight’s debate between our Beloved President Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney.
Romney: I’m a Governor.
Romney: My title is Governor. You skipped that.
Cooper: You’re not a Governor now.
Romney: The title is for life.
Obama: Good evening Anderson.
Cooper: Good evening Mister President, it’s a pleasure to see you again.
Obama: Back at ya Baby.
Cooper: Tonight’s first question will be determined by a coin toss. Call it Mister President.
Cooper: Heads it is!
Romney: You didn’t toss it.
Romney: You didn’t toss the coin in the air. You just showed it to him.
Cooper: You’re interrupting. Mister President, in your own words what is the greatest achievement of your administration?
Obama: Passage of The Affordable Health Care Act. Which, I might add was just deemed constitutional.
Cooper: That’s one down and five to go. Governor Romney, what is the greatest achievement of your administration?
Romney: May I offer a retort to the president’s answer?
Cooper: No. Answer the question.
Romney: I’m running for the office of the presidency. I have no administration yet.
Cooper: So I’ll score that answer as “Nothing”. That’s two down and four to go.
Cooper: Mister Romney, why did you put your dog on the roof of your car?
Cooper: Don’t avoid the question.
Romney: That’s a stupid question and I won’t dignify that with an answer.
Cooper: Mister President, can you outline for your audience, your plan to repair the economic damage inflicted on the country by the evils of the Bush administration?
Cooper: Mister President?
Cooper: Mister President?
Obama: I,I,I,I, I am waiting for the teleprompter.
Romney: Why don’t I have a teleprompter?
Cooper: Don’t interrupt our president.
Obama: O,O,O there it goes. My administration has invested billions in Green Energy initiatives which have created thousands of shovel ready jobs.
Cooper: Exactly. Mitt, why do you worship Satan?
Rodney: I most certainly do NOT worship Satan!
Cooper: But you’re a Mormon?
Rodney: I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Cooper: Which is a known Satanic Cult?
Rodney: Most certainly NOT. You missed the Jesus Christ part?
Cooper: Are you wearing your “Magic Underwear”?
Cooper: Answer the question!!!
Cooper: There, that wasn’t so hard was it?
Cooper: Mister President, can you explain your plan on Immigration?
Obama: Me ocuparé personalmente conceder la ciudadanía a toda persona que pueda cruzar la frontera y votar por mí una y otra vez en cuatro años. VIVA LA RAZA!!!
Cooper: Respuesta excelente señor presidente.
Romney: I think he just said he’d grant citizenship to anyone you will vote for him?
Cooper: It doesn’t matter what you think.
Cooper: Mister Romney, what is your stance on Gay Marriage?
Romney: I believe that the Holy State of Matrimony should be between a man and a woman.
Cooper: So you hate me?
Romney: I don’t hate you.
Cooper: You think I’m ugly, ugly, UGLY!!!
Romney: No I do not think you’re ugly.
Obama: I don’t think you’re ugly, Anderson.
Cooper: Bless you Barry. Here’s my cell number.
Obama: Th,Th,Th, Thank you. Drop by the white house and we ….er. Y,Y,Y You can sleep in the Lincoln bedroom.
Cooper: That’s swell. I’ll bring my checkbook.
Obama: You d,d,d, do that.
Romney: Can we get back to the debate?
Cooper: Oh course. How many wives do you have Mitt?
Cooper: Really, really?
Romney: Honest Injun. Are you ever going to ask me a question on policy?
Cooper: Not really? Well….okay. What do you think about the President’s fiscal policies?
Romney: Hey? You turned my microphone off!
Cooper: Did not.
Cooper: Did not.
Obama: Mind if I smoke?
Cooper: Of course not.
Obama: Want one?
Cooper: Sure, thanks.
Romney: You can’t smoke in here.
Obama: I can do anything I want, I’m, I’m,I’m the President.
Cooper: You sure can Barry. So…what’s your stance on the Gay Issue?
Obama: I allowed gays to serve in the military.
Cooper: So you love Gays?
Obama: O,O,O Oh Y,Y,Yes I Looove the gays.
Obama: Oh yeah, a,a,a, ask Michelle.
Cooper: Oh my. I will.
Romney: Oh MY GOD. Put that back!
Romney: You’re masturbating!!!
Cooper: Am not.
Obama: A,A,A, ARE!! OH MY!!!
Cooper: In closing, why should you be re-elected Mister President.
Obama: Because I’m Black.
Cooper: Once you go Black, you never go back.