Obama vs. Romney

The Lucky Puppy is proud to announce the first of a series of debates between our Beloved President Barrack Obama and his opponent Governor Mitt Romney. Tonight’s moderator will be Anderson Cooper.


Cooper: Good evening and welcome to tonight’s debate between our Beloved President Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney.

Romney: I’m a Governor.

Cooper: What?

Romney: My title is Governor. You skipped that.

Cooper: You’re not a Governor now.

Romney: The title is for life.

Cooper: Whatever.

Obama: Good evening Anderson.

Cooper: Good evening Mister President, it’s a pleasure to see you again.

Obama: Back at ya Baby.

Cooper: Tonight’s first question will be determined by a coin toss. Call it Mister President.

Obama: Heads.

Cooper: Heads it is!

Romney: You didn’t toss it.

Cooper: What?

Romney: You didn’t toss the coin in the air. You just showed it to him.

Cooper: You’re interrupting. Mister President, in your own words what is the greatest achievement of your administration?

Obama: Passage of The Affordable Health Care Act. Which, I might add was just deemed constitutional.

Cooper: That’s one down and five to go. Governor Romney, what is the greatest achievement of your administration?

Romney: May I offer a retort to the president’s answer?

Cooper: No. Answer the question.

Romney: I’m running for the office of the presidency. I have no administration yet.

Cooper: So I’ll score that answer as “Nothing”. That’s two down and four to go.

Cooper: Mister Romney, why did you put your dog on the roof of your car?

Romney: What?

Cooper: Don’t avoid the question.

Romney: That’s a stupid question and I won’t dignify that with an answer.

Cooper: Mister President, can you outline for your audience, your plan to repair the economic damage inflicted on the country by the evils of the Bush administration?


Cooper: Mister President?


Cooper: Mister President?

Obama: I,I,I,I, I am waiting for the teleprompter.

Romney: Why don’t I have a teleprompter?

Cooper: Don’t interrupt our president.

Obama: O,O,O there it goes. My administration has invested billions in Green Energy initiatives which have created thousands of shovel ready jobs.

Cooper: Exactly. Mitt, why do you worship Satan?

Rodney: I most certainly do NOT worship Satan!

Cooper: But you’re a Mormon?

Rodney: I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of  Latter Day Saints.

Cooper: Which is a known Satanic Cult?

Rodney: Most certainly NOT. You missed the Jesus Christ part?

Cooper: Are you wearing your “Magic Underwear”?


Cooper: Answer the question!!!

Romney: Yes.

Cooper: There, that wasn’t so hard was it?

Cooper: Mister President, can you explain your plan on Immigration?

Obama: Me ocuparé personalmente conceder la ciudadanía a toda persona que pueda cruzar la frontera y votar por mí una y otra vez en cuatro años. VIVA LA RAZA!!!

Cooper: Respuesta excelente señor presidente.

Romney: I think he just said he’d grant citizenship to anyone you will vote for him?

Cooper: It doesn’t matter what you think.

Cooper: Mister Romney, what is your stance on Gay Marriage?

Romney: I believe that the Holy State of Matrimony should be between a man and a woman.

Cooper: So you hate me?

Romney: I don’t hate you.

Cooper: You think I’m ugly, ugly, UGLY!!!

Romney: No I do not think you’re ugly.

Obama: I don’t think you’re ugly, Anderson.

Cooper: Bless you Barry. Here’s my cell number.

Obama: Th,Th,Th, Thank you. Drop by the white house and we ….er. Y,Y,Y You can sleep in the Lincoln bedroom.

Cooper: That’s swell. I’ll bring my checkbook.

Obama: You d,d,d, do that.

Romney: Can we get back to the debate?

Cooper: Oh course. How many wives do you have Mitt?

Romney: One.

Cooper: Really?

Romney: Really.

Cooper: Really, really?

Romney: Honest Injun. Are you ever going to ask me a question on policy?

Cooper: Not really? Well….okay. What do you think about the President’s fiscal policies?


Romney: Hey? You turned my microphone off!

Cooper: Did not.


Cooper: Did not.

Romney: DID,DID,DID!

Cooper: NOT,NOT,NOT!

Obama: Mind if I smoke?

Cooper: Of course not.

Obama: Want one?

Cooper: Sure, thanks.

Romney: You can’t smoke in here.

Obama: I can do anything I want, I’m, I’m,I’m  the President.

Cooper: You sure can Barry. So…what’s your stance on the Gay Issue?

Obama: I allowed gays to serve in the military.

Cooper: So you love Gays?

Obama: O,O,O Oh Y,Y,Yes I Looove the gays.

Cooper: Really?

Obama: Oh yeah, a,a,a, ask Michelle.

Cooper: Oh my. I will.

Romney: Oh MY GOD. Put that back!

Cooper: What?

Romney: You’re masturbating!!!

Cooper: Am not.

Romney: ARE!!

Cooper: NOT!!!

Obama: A,A,A, ARE!!  OH MY!!!

Cooper: In closing, why should you be re-elected Mister President.

Obama: Because I’m Black.

Cooper: Once you go Black, you never go back.

Obama: Word.

















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