“MOM! The FBI is at the Door”

Our neighbor joined the Navy and wanted to ride on Submarines so the F.B.I. dropped by to chat.

I was 17 or 18 and a knock came at the door. I answered it and found two guys in suits and sunglasses at the door. The taller one said, “I’m Agent [so and so] and this is Agent [so and so] and we’d like to talk to you about [name redacted]. Mom was in the shower and I yelled, “MOM….THE FBI IS AT THE DOOR”. At this point she pops out of bathroom stark naked and yells, “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO LIE!”
It’s then she sees the F.B.I. standing at the door and flees to the refuge of her bedroom.
[Awkward silence]
The agent says, “We’ll wait until your Mother is ready”.

Years later I encounter the F.B.I. again. This time I’m being cleared for what I later found out was the Stealth Program. I was 32 and never had been arrested, questioned or charged but they showed me my FBI file.
“We have a serious bet going down in the office and we want to know if you really did this”, said the agent has he slid a piece of paper across the table. “Did you shoot a cow with a rocket”?
“No, I shot AT the cow. Missed and hit a tree.”
“You built a bazooka in the Fourth Grade?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work real well because we had to carry a car battery around.”
I actually had two versions of my rocket. Type II had an antipersonnel warhead.


The design pictured above has key design points missing and I assure you this design doesn’t work. So don’t try this at home.
When I got the final design, I put it in the bench vise on the work bench in our garage. I then put a number ten coffee can over the rocket and pushed the launch button.
The motor fired as advertised and there was a few moments of silence.
The coffee can had developed a bad case of acne. B-B’s pinged off of the floor and one or two hit the washer and drier. Little did I know that Dad had just came home from work and was enjoying a beer in the living room.
The door from the kitchen flew open and Dad screamed, “WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL WAS THAT?????”
Needless to say I was grounded for a while and the rocket never got a test flight.

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