The title is not a typo. Here’s our update on the Evil Disney Empire.
Late at night on rides such as Pirates of the Caribbean and It’s a Small World, amorous couples regularly try to make the Happiest Place on Earth even a little happier. They’re apparently unaware that virtually every inch of every ride is observed by security cameras or hidden employees. Sometimes they’re startled by a warning from a loudspeaker; occasionally they’re greeted at the exit by applauding employees. On a high school band trip in 1975, My girlfriend and I were interrupted by a booming voice yelling, “CUT THAT OUT!!!”. We did.
Until 2001, Disney cast members had to share underwear. Many of the costumes require special undergarments, such as tights, bike shorts, or jock straps, and employees claimed that the items were not always clean when they were issued. Some cast members allegedly contracted lice or scabies from their skivvies. Disney did not comment on the situation other to say that they would accommodate their employee wishes, which they did. Cast members can now take their underwear home and wash it themselves.
DISNEY HASN’T BEEN RACIST SINCE THE 1940’s. Wrong.
DISNEY BODY COUNT
It’s a Small World
On October 6, 2010, a 53-year-old cast member, subcontracted to Disney, became trapped underneath a boat on It’s a Small World when the ride was inadvertently switched on while it was being cleaned. The man was taken to a hospital where he later died. [Disneyland]
Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster avec Aerosmith
On June 26, 2007, a 14-year-old guest lost consciousness on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster avec Aerosmith and died. Though paramedics attempted to revive her, she was dead before the ambulance arrived. A ride inspection showed no mechanical problems. [Disney World]
Nine guests have been killed on Disneyland attractions since the park’s opening in 1955. All the deaths (save the most recent) were the result of guests who apparently ignored safety instructions and/or defeated rides’ safety mechanisms. The Rivers of America is the deadliest with three fatalities.
Deborah Stone was the first Disneyland Employee to die in the line of duty, July 1974. She was an greeter on America Sings. While testing the ride she was crushed between a stationary wall and a moving wall. The ride was closed for three days to clean up and install warning lights. No one was there to witness her death and she was discovered the following day when she failed to show up for work
September 6, 2003
Los Angeles – One man died and 10 other riders were hurt Friday when train cars filled with passengers broke loose from a locomotive in a dark tunnel on Disneyland’s Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride.
July 4th, 2009. When safety features were overridden, Two monorails at Disney World collided head on and killed an operator. Seven other people were on the trains at the time but were not seriously injured.Click Here to read story.
[ed note: A reader pointed out that there have been more deaths at Disneyland and that we’re not even paying attention to Disney World. We have made a distinction between deaths and “killed. Guests in poor health who die while in the park are not included.]
So, without further fanfare we proudly publish….
In October, 1989 a woman was killed at Disney World when her jet ski collided with the jet ski driven by her daughter. She was pronounced dead in the water and rather than drag her body to a beach full of guests, her body was towed out and lashed to a buoy. The victim was brought ashore after dark when there were fewer guests to be shocked. Well…most of her. The fish had been feeding for hours.
February 11, 2004: A costumed Walt Disney World worker, Javier Cruz, 38, of Orlando, Fla., was killed after being run over by a float during an afternoon parade.
The Body Count at Disneyland stands at: 11
The Body Count at Disney World stands at: 3
If a Disney character says “Have a Disney Day” that’s code for “Fuck Off”.