The weather at Hahn Airbase sucked, so we flew to balmier climates like Spain and Turkey.. In this case, the Lucky Puppies are off to Incirlik Airbase Turkey.
We’ve reposted the video here because YouTube threatened to shut down our channel because of the groovy soundtrack.
I can neither confirm nor deny that this incident happened.
A no–lone zone may contain a cryptographic component, weapon system hardware under test, a nuclear weapon or active nuclear weapon controls. In the United States Air Force (USAF) policy concerning critical weapons, a no–lone zone is an area in which the presence of a single individual is prohibited.
AFI91-104 23 APRIL 2013
Read the Regulation here.
3.4.2. Take immediate, positive steps to prevent or stop an incorrect procedure or unauthorized act.
In the United States Air Force there is a Nuclear Authentication NCO. They are in charge of the permission to launch a nuclear strike. Pilots are cycled in and out for training. the NCO position is permanent for continuity.
On Thursday, we* were standing Nuclear Alert as a training exercise. Even though it was training, we were uploaded with the real weapons and were the ninth largest nuclear power in the world.
* pronouns are used for story telling and do not indicate any real person, living or dead.
I got a radio call from one of my security guards saying he had a problem. On arriving, I found a LtCol Pilot who come out to see “his” aircraft and “his” weapon. I informed him that it was “my” aircraft and “my” weapon. I offered him a ride back to ops and gave him 20 minutes to find his “two-man”.
Twenty minutes later, the guard called me again. The Colonel was back. I was not polite this time. I told him he had 20 minutes to shag his ass back to ops and find his two-man. If I found his crew chief watching movies in the lounge, I would handcuff the two of them together. I jangled cuffs in his face. The pilot who was my two-man said, “He’ll do it, sir. I’ve seen him do it.” The Colonel stomps off.
I was enjoying my MRE lunch of a Ham Slice when I got a third call. Fuck. Now I’m pissed. The conversation with the Colonel was heated.
He accused me of doing sexual things to my Mother.
I accused him of doing sexual things with small farm animals and kitchen appliances.
I’d have enough. I took an immediate, positive step to prevent or stop an incorrect procedure or unauthorized act.
I drew my pistol. At this point the guard turned off his radio and went behind the crew chief shack for a smoke break. My Lt pissed his pants. In the de-brief he said he didn’t know if he was supposed to shoot me or help me shoot the Colonel.
As per regulations, he supposed to help me shoot the Colonel
.I gave him to the count of three to leave the No Lone Zone. I counted down. At “one” I took the safety off and said,
“This is you last and final warning to un-ass the NO..LONE..ZONE…sir.
On Monday morning he was spot demoted to Major and sent back to the States. I was awarded a Meritorious Service Medal and acquired a reputation not to be fucked with.