Are you watching Army Wives? You should be. Especially if you’re a guy….or a lesbian. Because let’s face it the show has some World Class Pussy on board.
Catherine Bell…hello?
The show was cancelled because some of the ladies asked for too much money. But the fans wanted the show back on like Star Trek. So BAM you’re dead [Kim Delaney.] and PCS’d off base [ Sally Pressman ].
Wendy Davis came back for this year but it doesn’t look like she made the cut. So BAM Retirement she’s out and her Mandingo Warrior of a hubbs Sterling K. Brown gets fragged in the colatreral damage.
In the meantime there are the New Wives. Just like the Army in Real Life, new folks move right on in. The season finale just threw down and things are about as fucked up as last year
THE STORY LINES
Spoiler Alert, I’m dishing the dirt.
Gloria – The season started out good for Gloria, she’d dumped her possessive asshat of a husband Hector and upgraded to 2lt Patrick Clark who’s fresh out of West Point. Just after a hot One Night Stand Pat gets shipped to Afghanistan where his company takes an ass whooping from the towel heads. They’re on, they’re off, they’re on again. Jesus, make up my mind people. Gloria finally said “Fuck this shit” and breaks up with Pat. Meanwhile combat helps Hector pull his head out of his ass and comes back and wants to get back with Gloria. Pat comes back too and wants it to be on like Donkey Kong. Now Gloria can’t decide who to fuck next. I suggest she invite them both over for a Fuck Off. Last man standing wins.
Holly and Tim– Holly is one of the replacement wives and they’re the perfect High School Sweethearts. Then Tim is off to Afghanistan and comes back all fucked up in the head (PTSD for you PC bitches). On the first night Holly gets all slutted out for a good dicking
but Tim just wants to sleep. WTF? In a nightmare Tim is choking the shit out of some Rag Head but it’s Holly he’s trying to kill. I really want to see where this one goes next. Tim’s in the hospital now “Getting Better” but I vote that he’s up on the roof with a M-16 in no time.
Colonel Joan Burton- Up until this year Colonel Joan has been kicking ass. She’s selected for the War College and is in line for a star. One of the strongest if not the strongest Army Wife she caves and shit cans her career to let Hubbs Roland take his dream job far away from the Army Wives set. So the Burtons are out. Hard to tell who was too bitchy about their contract. Him or her or both. but BAM! See you later. In a poignant good bye Roland and Denise have a “moment” in the halls of Mercer. The look in Denise’s eye says she’s going miss a little Jungle Love on the side.
Colonel Katherine “Kat” Young – One of the new wives and she’s in the AIR FORCE and she’s Brooke Shields. Brooke Fucking Shields! The season started out with her all bitchy and all into General Holder’s ass. But damn did she zoom to the top of the Army Wives MILF list. Holder is still all fucked up from having his wife die off and it takes him a while to notice this World Class Air Force ass being shoved under his nose. Finally…him and “Kat” are having a working dinner of sandwiches in his office. Duty done they wrap it up but then BAM they’re lip locked like Seventh Grade. But then Denise walks in on them. Denise was all ready to bang the brains out her hubby but he was all “Need to get my CAC card renewed”. Honestly, Catherine Bell one “Okay” from giving you a blow job and you worry about your CAC card? Really? So SHE runs over to headquarters in the middle of the night to get this fucking card when she sees Holder and Young about to sweep all that Army shit off the desk and start some serious Nasty. Denise walks away and Holder pulls up his pants and chases after her to “explain”. Denise is all “Fuck that shit, what about Claudia?”. She’s all bitchy like she was getting a little from Claudia too. Holder is all “I will always Love Claudia, but that’s Brooks Fucking Shields back there warming up for an Army facial. Later at Joan’s retirement ceremony Kat pins Denise down and says, “Look Bitch, I’ve haven’t been laid in 12 fucking years so stop your cock blocking shit.” Just when your expecting the biggest cat fight since “Dallas” or “Dynasty” Denise backs down. She later comes up to them both and wishes Holder “Happiness”. Maybe Denise is tired of CAC Card Boy and wants in on a three way. We can only hope.
Stay tuned.
