It’s the most wonderful day of the year. No not Christmas. Football Season Opening Day. Wait a minute, did I just say that?
You betcha. I was never REALLY a fan. The first game I watched was the first Super Bowl. At my parents friends house because I had to. I was the only kid there (no wait, there was one little girl). We got shoved into a spare bedroom to play and the game was the only channel that came in. I still have residual feeling for the Colts and the Jets. Did I get that right?
Then there were the 1972 Dolphins and by then I knew the rules and we had cable (I think). I still see the Dolphins on TV and think of Larry Czonka, Mercury Morris and the rest.
High school was okay, but I was in the Band, not on the field and had a progressive elitist attitude towards the Jock Squad.
Since I lived in Monterey, I picked the Raiders when Dad and I bet on football. His team was the Pats. The bet every year was if your team won the Super Bowl, the other person owed you a hat. We also did the Red Sox and the Oakland A’s. I lost a fortune in hats. Fuck you Tom Brady.
Three years ago my son convinced me to play fantasy football. In the interest of good parenting I agreed and picked all the players with cool names. I got my ass handed to me in my hat. Year two, I wised up and really tried to draft a good team. I was so proud that I got Brady in the draft. Then he broke his footie 17 seconds into the season. I panicked to get a QB onto the field and wound up with two and a illegal formation penalty that screwed me for the rest of the season. Arrrrrg!
Since then, I’ve got the knack of fantasy football. Then 2009 showed up. I bought Madden 10, for the Wii. I bragged to Son Number One.
Who said, “You should’ve got the real game.” Fuck…. I played Madden10 on a friend’s Playstation3. “Fuck…sigh…I got the wrong game.”
So THIS year I have both Madden 11 and Playstion3. It features Gatorade sippy cups during time outs and shit. I was shopping in Wal Mart this weekend and noticed that they were selling the Gatorade sippy cups. I must of stood there for 10 minutes. Should I get one? Should I get two for the kids. Would that soothe the Kitty Cats Opening Day spanking? Maddon11 is evil.
I was going to post pictures but then realized the NFL would spank my ass for it.
2 thoughts on “Are You Ready for Some Football???”
Let us pray,
Oh Lord we thank You for your Blessings,
With which we didst smite the Bengals.
Allow us to be merciful in Thy sight
That we may crush the Giants of New York
and walk in Thy Light, Undefeated.