A Nice Restaurant

Isn’t great when you go out to a nice restaurant and order your favorite meal. After ordering you go to the bathroom and when you get back your food is there on the table waiting for you. It smells so good.  As  you take that first bite it tastes as good as it smells.  But you notice that you can also smell the soap you used in the bathroom. You dab your mouth with the napkin and accidentally get a taste of the soap.  But the food is so good and the company is as well.  So you try not to think of the soap in your mouth.  A sip of your tasty beverage and it’s a forgotten memory.

Until it’s time to order dessert and while you order there’s a rumbling in your stomach.  You excuse yourself and head back to the bathroom.  It seems further away than before and you quicken your pace.  Not quite at a run you make it to the bathroom and go to the first stall.  Someone has forgotten to flush and it’s disgusting.  You switch to the next stall and see that someone has made a big cross out of masking tape and has written  ” out of order” on the tape.

The handicapped stall is your only choice but someone is in there. Minutes seem like hours as you wait for them to finish their business.  The stall frees up just in time and as you sit down the stink hits you.  But now you’re committed and you begin to form your exit strategy.  The toilet paper holder is one of those industrial models that hold two rolls about a foot wide.  You pull at the first one you get the last bit of the roll.  No sweat, the other one is brand new.  You can’t find where the end of the roll is.  The roll is heavy as you turn once around then twice.  On the third lap you catch the end and scratch it free with your fingernail.  You give the end a yank and are rewarded with about six inches of paper.  That won’t do so you yank again.  Six inches again.  Maybe this is some paper saving design of the apparatus.  You let your fingers do the walking and slowly spin the roll until you get enough.

All done.  You fix yourself  and as you turn around to flush you get another rumble in the tummy.  Nope, you weren’t finished.  You sit back down and start the process all over again.  This does give you a moment to appreciate the gang graffiti scratched into the paper dispenser.  Someone rattles the door to the stall. This inspires you to finish up.  As the toilet flushes you stand there a minute to make sure you’re really done.

When you get back to the table your dinner companions are sipping coffee and your ice cream is melted.  No, you don’t want to reorder.  But a cup of coffee would be nice.

As you take your first sip of that delicious coffee you get a wiff of the soap from the bathroom…