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You Might be a Muslim

No, Jeff Foxworthy did not write these.

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, you may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can’t afford shoes, you may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth,  you may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but think bacon unclean, you may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come only in two styles:  “Bullet-Proof” and “Suicide” you may be a Muslim.

6. If your wife is jealous of your goat, you may be a Muslim.

7.  If your wife is in the third grade, you may be a Muslim.

8.  If you have never owned a roll of toilet paper, you may be a Muslim.

9.  If you’re Boss lives in Guantanamo, you may be a Muslim.

10. If you consider television dangerous but  keep explosives in your kitchen, you may be a Muslim.

11. If you have 20 cell phones but have never made a phone call, you may be a Muslim.

12. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, you may be a Muslim.

13.  If you’ve ever lied to a Christian, you may be a Muslim.

14. If your kid has ever blown themselves up, you may be a Muslim.

15. If you have ever had to stone a daughter, you may be a Muslim.

16.  If you murder homosexuals but like to hold your Buddy’s hand, you may be a Muslim.

17.  If you have eaten goat roasted over an open fire and felt bad because you miss her, you may be a Muslim.

18.  If you’ve stopped to pray while gassing up your truck, you may be a Muslim.

19.  If you’ve ever had your house blown up by a drone, you may be a Muslim.

20.  If you find this offensive and won’t share it, you may be a Muslim.

 

 


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