Lyon- The United States Women’s Soccer team has won the 2019 Women’s World Cup. The Netherlands was named First Runner Up. Should the winners become unable to perform their duties, the First Runner will assume the Crown. The US took the lead on a penalty kick by Megan Rapinoe, in a pink hair-doo. The entire match was fiercely contested with many injury penalties and cute pony tails. Spunky Rose Lavelle (24) nailed the lid on the coffin with a 17 yard Rocket into the box. The win sparked nipple rubbing hugs as the Dutch girls walked off pissed and sad..
Yes I’ve gone a whole month without posting. You want to know why?
I guess the easiest answer is that I’ve been busy with real life. We seem to be awash in a sea of bureaucracy and there’s always another form to fill out. Wedged in between job applications I have been trying to get my Teamsters pension up and running in on a paying basis. Hurrah for the folks in Seattle who crushed the eight month process into eight weeks. It’s not a big pension but the light at the end of the tunnel has grown a little bit bigger.
I’m approaching the anniversary of my unemployment. With job fairs and online applications and filling out forms until my eyes bleed all this effort has resulted in two interviews. Both with the post office. The first one went well and was actually hired, processed into the Post Office and badged and then with less than 12 hours before I was supposed to report to work was told my job was on hold. This was on a Friday and by Monday the position I was applying for had been canceled. So now I’m a postal employee without portfolio or position. Neither fish nor fowl I’ve applied for other open positions and are now waiting for callbacks on four of them.
And did I mention I went to the last interview with a dislocated shoulder? About three weeks ago, I woke in pain and would’ve paid you 20 bucks to cut my arm off. I was convinced I was having a heart attack or stroke. I couldn’t go to the doctor because of, well Obamacare. So I downed a couple of aspirin and decided to wait it out. After about a week of eating Aleve like Ranger candy, I found myself church praying to God to make the pain stop. With biblical efficiency my prayer was answered in about 15 minutes. After service and answering questions why my arm was in a sling a little old lady who happen to be a retired nurse said, ” Oh honey you dislocated his shoulder.” Apparently you can dislocate your shoulder while asleep. She urged me to see a doctor immediately but well, Obama care. I decided to turn lemons into lemonade and redirect some pissed off teenage daughter angst. I went home and told Rosie my 14-year-old daughter that her dreams had come true. I told her to take a grip on my arm and try to rip my arm off my shoulder with one stout yank. While I was staring at the pictures on her wall and the trash on the floor she gave it her best shot. It didn’t hurt half as much as I thought it would and I could finally move my arm. Saturday before last I fi nally knuckled under and went to a doctor who said I probably dislocated my shoulder but if it had reset and all of the muscles in my left shoulder are basically sprained which he said would happen. I get prescribed anti-inflammatories and some muscle relaxers. I cheerfully told them I wasn’t going to pay him. He had a sad look on his face. I told him I just appreciated his professional opinion and walked out. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings too much. Nowadays the arm’s much better. It still feels like I’ve worked out of the gym too much and gives me a twinge in the morning that soon goes away and most importantly I’m pretty much off of painkillers
And then there’s the World Cup. It’s been great rooting our team on and I yelled myself hoarse during yesterday’s match with Belgium. Alas the Belgians didn’t waffle but our boys went down fighting and were carried off the field on their shields. Keeper Tim Howard set a world record for most shots blocked during the World Cup match. I’m proud of our boys and even prouder of the fans that rallied around them. I finally feel vindicated for all the taunts and insults about me playing soccer in high school. By the way it’s called futball and only Americans. So Now the Germans Are Out Of the Round of 16 and We Have To Beat France’s Ass.
Typing with this arm has been a real bitch. But I’m using Dragon right now which seems to be working out. It also has helped writing school essays. I’m up to 62 credits with a 4.0 average. Yay me.
So I promise to post more and please keep those donations coming in. $5,$10 and $20 donations add up and we really, really need to pay rent. Every little but helps so don’t be shy. If this blog has made you smile, or made you a little smarter or made your day a little brighter please click the donate button and put something in the kitty before you go back to facebook.
My non typing ass has been busy on Pinterest so go check out what I’ve been up to there.
Thank you for your continued support.