A Highlight of an Air Force Career

I can neither confirm nor deny that this incident happened.

A nolone zone may contain a cryptographic component, weapon system hardware under test, a nuclear weapon or active nuclear weapon controls. In the United States Air Force (USAF) policy concerning critical weapons, a nolone zone is an area in which the presence of a single individual is prohibited.

AFI91-104 23 APRIL 2013
Read the Regulation here.

3.4.2. Take immediate, positive steps to prevent or stop an incorrect procedure or unauthorized act.

In the United States Air Force there is a Nuclear Authentication NCO. They are in charge of the permission to launch a nuclear strike. Pilots are cycled in and out for training. the NCO position is permanent for continuity.

WAR STORY

On Thursday, we* were standing Nuclear Alert as a training exercise. Even though it was training, we were uploaded with the real weapons and were the ninth largest nuclear power in the world.

* pronouns are used for story telling and do not indicate any real person, living or dead.

I got a radio call from one of my security guards saying he had a problem. On arriving, I found a LtCol Pilot who come out to see “his” aircraft and “his” weapon. I informed him that it was “my” aircraft and “my” weapon. I offered him a ride back to ops and gave him 20 minutes to find his “two-man”.

Twenty minutes later, the guard called me again. The Colonel was back. I was not polite this time. I told him he had 20 minutes to shag his ass back to ops and find his two-man. If I found his crew chief watching movies in the lounge, I would handcuff the two of them together. I jangled cuffs in his face. The pilot who was my two-man said, “He’ll do it, sir. I’ve seen him do it.” The Colonel stomps off.

I was enjoying my MRE lunch of a Ham Slice when I got a third call. Fuck. Now I’m pissed. The conversation with the Colonel was heated.

He accused me of doing sexual things to my Mother.

I accused him of doing sexual things with small farm animals and kitchen appliances.

I’d have enough. I took an immediate, positive step to prevent or stop an incorrect procedure or unauthorized act.

I drew my pistol. At this point the guard turned off his radio and went behind the crew chief shack for a smoke break. My Lt pissed his pants. In the de-brief he said he didn’t know if he was supposed to shoot me or help me shoot the Colonel.

As per regulations, he supposed to help me shoot the Colonel

.I gave him to the count of three to leave the No Lone Zone. I counted down. At “one” I took the safety off and said,

“This is you last and final warning to un-ass the NO..LONE..ZONE…sir.

On Monday morning he was spot demoted to Major and sent back to the States. I was awarded a Meritorious Service Medal and acquired a reputation not to be fucked with.

The Gangs of Disneyland

disney gangs

Gangs roam Disneyland. Turf wars and occasional fisticuffs occur however Disney tolerates these activities.

main street elite

Fashioned like biker gangs, these Disney gangs have vests, patches, probation and initiation rites. At last count, there are almost 100 separate gangs. It’s all fun and games until some gangs interact. Especially if they’re “DUI” or “Disney Under the Influence”. Yes, Virginia , Disneyland has places where beer is sold. These folks take Disneyland very, very seriously. With Park Passes in hand, they roam the park. They have been known to “claim” certain park benches or areas in the Park. “The Main Street Elite” for example claim um…Main Street.

There are many Disney social groups. The “Bikers” admit that they are on the weird end of the spectrum and like to emphasize that they there benign. They conduct fund raisers. Disneyland itself tolerates them because their number one rule is it fact, Disneyland’s number one rule.

“Do not damage the Disney Fantasy”

Gangs have sung to children on their First Visit. They pick up trash. Their code of conduct demands everyone follow park rules and not become “Treasured Guests”, Disney’s code word for disruptive visitors. Most “gangs” can be seen pushing strollers as they bring their kids to experience the “Magic of Disney”

How Bad Ass can you be pushing a stroller?

The Dark Side

Like people everywhere, there are assholes that screw up the Good Times for everyone. A civil lawsuit filed in Orange County Superior Court has revealed a dark undercurrent to the pastime. Of course they did, it is California. The head of one club has accused another of using gangster-like tactics to try to collect “protection” money for a charity fundraiser at the park. The walk was due to take place on September 11, 2016, to benefit families of the firefighters killed during 9/11.

It sounds like a Mob movie set in a theme park. The Main Street Fire Station 55 accused the White Rabbits of extortion, invasion of privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Stop laughing.

Apparently, the White Rabbits offered to provide security for the fundraiser parade the Fire Station 55ers were holding for the low, low price of $500. That triggered the Rabbits and the fur flew.

Do you belong to one of these Disneyland social groups. If so, we’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Represent.