The Navy’s Big Dick

A couple of Naval Aviators got into hack when they drew a giant penis in the air. The Navy Times  has released the cockpit transcripts of the event.

PILOT: The balls are going to be a little lopsided.

PILOT: Balls are complete.

PILOT: I’ve just got to navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.

EWO*- Which way is the shaft going?

PILOT: The shaft will go to the left.

EWO: It’s gonna be a wide shaft.

PILOT: I don’t want it to be just three balls.

EWO: Let’s do it.

EWO: Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.

PILOT: Some like, Chinese weather satellite is like, “What the Fuck?”

PILOT: To get this I’m gonna go down and to the right. Then we’ll come back up over the top and try to take a look.

EWO: I have a feeling that the balls will have disapated by then.

PILOT: It’s possible.

PILOT: Oh yes, that’s fucking amazing.

EWO: That’s a big fucking dick. Dude , I’m amazed that it stayed.

*Electronic Warfare Officer

Obviously, the crew thought their hijinks were auto erase, but when it lingered they knew the cat was out of the bag. By the time they landed, pictures had already gone viral.

Click the video for the complete transcript.



Plucky Band of Racist Children Commence Construction on Border Wall

Armed with little more than some borrowed tools, a few pieces of scrap metal, some spare wood and a single handgun between them, a plucky band of racist children began work on the stalled border wall outside of Brisbee, Arizona today.

The kids, numbering an even dozen of both girls and boys between the ages of 5 and 12, exalted what they envision will be a “cool and ginormous wall” that will, “Keep all the beaners out.”

“We’re sick of all the spics coming over here and taking all our jobs,” Aiden Pruitt, 10, remarked. “My dad used to be an airplane pilot, but now he just sits around drinking and yelling at us all the time.”

Asked whether his father was replaced by an illegal immigrant, the boy confronted the reporter, who was Hispanic, inquiring whether he was, “Some kind of a wise ass.”

“I came here to do two things: build a fucking wall and kick some Mexican ass,” the boy said. “And it looks like we’re all out of wood and shit.”

As of press time, the racist children had completed approximately twenty feet of border wall, leaving nearly 1,954 more miles to go.

TRUMP TO TERMINATE CHEM TRAILS

According to an NBC News, Donald Trump, accompanied by select members of his cabinet, toured a chem trail outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon.

President trump given tour of Boeing 767 configured for Chem Trail operations.

As the partial government shut down stretched to historic length, President Trump offered solutions to end the deadlock.  Vowing to end expensive and pointless programs, the $7 billion OPERATION MYSTIC MIST is on the chopping block.

President Trump read a prepared statement in front of a converted Boeing 767.

“Today marks a great day for our country where we turn our backs on the secret poisoning of our skies and look to a great new future with better roads, a secure electrical grid, and a great wall to protect us from Mexico.”

Anonymous White House sources revealed that MYSTIC MIST and other similar black programs have been in progress since the late 1980’s.  The chem trail Boeing 767 is but one of a variety of airborne platforms used.


Other pointless programs will be terminated:

  • $518,000 in federal grants to study how cocaine affects the sexual behavior of Japanese quails.
  • $1,4 Billion a year for 770,000 for unused and underused federal buildings.
  • The Army Corps of Engineers spends $5 billion annually constructing dams and other water projects that are not necessary or fictitious to ensure the line item budget for the  Army Corps of Engineers is not reduced.