When I lived in Nevada, my Dad thought I was on parole and couldn’t leave the State. Dad lived in Monterey County. I told him,
“I can’t come to California. I can’t bring my gun. They have a shoot on sight smoking policy, the red meat is illegal and they’re working on the yellow cheese.”
Now, more than 15 years later, it has become weirder than that.
IN CALIFORNIA
A waiter will be arrested if he gives you a plastic straw that you haven’t specifically asked for.
In San Jose and Sunnyvale it is illegal for grocery stores to provide plastic bags.
You may only throw a frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County, CA with the lifeguard’s permission.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
You have to pass a background check every time you buy ammunition.
“Bullet Button Ban.” For years, California Democrats have sought to ban a made-up classification of semi-auto rifles with “evil features” that they re-named “assault weapons” for propaganda purposes. They’ve now banned the switch that selects either safe or semi-auto. They call this the “Bullet Button”.
By 2020, the minimum wage will be $15 per hour. Thereby destroying entry level jobs and small businesses.
The “Hands Free” Law. This is another example of government gone wild. AB1785 prescribes driver behavior so severely that in and of itself, I believe it will cause more accidents — and more deaths. Not only must the phone be dash mounted — meaning you’ll have a permanent distraction right in front of you — but you may not text, take photos or video, or enter GPS destinations while driving. Fat chance of stopping those activities with a mere $20 fine. The bill does stipulate that “the only time a driver is allowed to touch the device is when he or she is activating or deactivating a “feature or function.” However, that process should only involve a “single swipe or tap of the driver’s finger,” according to the bill,” mynewsla.com reports. How about “hands off” my phone instead of an unenforceable “hands free” law?
The Single User Toilet. Banks of urinals in the men’s room and multiple stalls in the ladies room will be phased out and replaced by the “single user toilet”. Only two are required and there can be no gender designation. AB 1732
Ghost Gun Ban. AB 857 requires that if you build your own guns and possess the skills and tools to do so, you must get a registration number from the State for a gun you might build. Once you build it, you must get another number for the next gun you might build.
“NEW CALIFORNIA”
Dairy farmers must capture cow farts or face heavy fines. CARB (CA Air Resources Board) suggests inserting a tube into the cow’s digestive system and venting into a backpack. SB 1383
Legalizing Child Prostitution. This law bars law enforcement from arresting sex workers who are under the age of 18 for soliciting or engaging in prostitution, or loitering with intent to do so. So teenage girls (and boys) in California will soon be free to have sex in exchange for money without fear of arrest or prosecution. SB1322
To pay for some of the housing relief programs, the state has added a fee of $75 to $225 per month on mortgages. SB2
California will be the first state to require ingredient labeling on cleaning products used in your home. SB258
Jaywalking is no longer illegal. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Californians who do not identify as male or female will have to wait until 2019 to be given a third option for listing their gender on driver’s licenses and birth certificates. SB179
Pricey dogs and cats can no longer be financed. California will ban the financing method after people complained that they did not understand that they were renting the pet, which was subject to repossession if the loan was not paid back. AB1491
But that doesn’t matter because as of Jan. 1 2019, pet stores in California will be allowed to sell only rescue and shelter dogs, cats and rabbits. AB485
In the city of Walnut, children may not wear a Halloween mask unless they have a special permit from the sheriff.
In Chico, detonating a nuclear device within city limits will result in a $500 fine.
Chico has also made it illegal to own a green animal.
In Dana Point, it is illegal to open a bathroom window. (CA Air Resources Board)
It is illegal to store your things in your garage. Chapter 6 of the San Francisco Housing Code 399-89
KNOW SOME OTHER CALIFORNIAN LAWS? ADD THEM IN THE COMMENTS.
DON’T MAKE SHIT UP. I DIDN’T