JAWS FILM FEST

Sort of.  The success of the movie “Jaws” spawned many look alike movies that we celebrate in this post.  To make our list, the movie plot requires:

  • An animal eating people.
  • A sheriff.
  • A Mayor hell bent to hold an event.
  • An animal expert.

In order of “lameness” we present:

MANEATER

A Bengal tiger appears almost  magically to munch townsfolk  who are stupid enough to wander into the woods.  Gary Busey puts in a surprisingly strong performance.  This one varies just enough from the Jaws plot to keep you on the edge of your seat.

 

GRIZZLY

Hot on the heels of JAWS, this yarn finds an eighteen-foot-tall grizzly bear terrorizing a state park, leaving it up to a Park Ranger to save the day. Christopher George gets to be the Park Ranger and wishes he was still on Rat Patrol. There’s a “Dad” instead of  a Mayor.  Just as gory as JAWS, it’s sure to scare the kids.  There’s plenty of sexy ’80’s chicks for Dad.

 

SNOWBEAST

Oh sure, pick on Bigfoot.  Sasquatch is eating the skiers at a Colorado ski resort.  Clint Walker is the Sheriff.  Bo Svenson’s reporter wife is the “expert”.  You have to suffer through long skiing and snow machine montages to get to the plot.  It is actually worth the trip as the plot builds to a genuinely scary ending.

CLAWS

The first of the rhyming knock offs, CLAWS is a bad knock off of the knock off, GRIZZLY.  Root for the bear because it’s not his fault. Bad acting combines with bad writing to  produce this stinker.  Best viewed stoned, this epic builds to a confusing and badly edited finale.  YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

 

Here’s something to cleanse your viewing palate.

 

 

 

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
Spiders this time. A small Arizona town is overrun with giant poisonous spiders. A Veterinarian (William Shatner) and an sexy Entomologist lead the charge. SPOILER ALERT: They eat an airplane.

HAPPY VETERANS DAY

But why today? Today marks the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One. At the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the guns fell silent.

Siege gun. Image living in the trenches that this fired on.

THE COST

A Truce was declared and that would lead to the end of the Great War. The war to end all wars. There were 20 million deaths and 21 million wounded. There 1.8 billion people on the planet in 1918. Between 1914 and 1918, 4.5% had been killed or horribly wounded. To put that in perspective, the United States has an unemployment rate of 4.5 percent. Look around you. Think of everyone you know that doesn’t have a job as dead.

For this reason, the politicians and most of the population called the Great War, “The war to end all wars”. It was that horrible.

THE RED POPPY

Gathering poppies.

The remembrance poppy was inspired by the World War I poem “In Flanders Fields”. Its opening lines refer to the many poppies that were the first flowers to grow in the churned-up earth of soldiers’ graves in Flanders, a region of Belgium.

 

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

But it wasn’t was it? World War One was followed by World war Two. That’s what we call them. The veterans of World War Two just called it, “The War”.

369th Infantry Regiment

“Don’t Tread On Me, God Damn, Lets Go”

The 369th Infantry Regiment was first black American infantry regiment to fight in World War I, the 369th spent more time in the trenches and under fire — 191 days — than any other U.S. unit. A National Guard regiment, the 369th recruited out of New York City in large numbers, and German soldiers who witnessed their battlefield prowess quickly dubbed them the Harlem Hellfighters.

TODAY

This country has been at war now for a record 17 years. The current casualty rate is lower that training casualties of the 1980’s. But for the young man, and now young woman today, a fire fight in Kandahar or Iraq is exactly the same for them as it was for their great-great grandfathers when they “went over the top” and charged artillery and massed machine guns fighting for maybe a mile of ground.

So wish everyone a Happy Veterans Day. Where the red poppies. Shake a vet’s hand and thank them for their service. But do so knowing that you will never……never know what it was to go through what they did.


And we did it for you.

 

HERE’S TWO MOVIES TO WATCH BEFORE YOUTUBE TAKES THEM DOWN

https://youtu.be/zsGD_At6QRg

2018 DEADPOOL

Get in on our version of the game Deadpool.

Traditional Deadpool is played by picking 12 people in January that you think will die in the coming year.  We here at the Puppy have been mulling over ideas on how to play with Loyal Readers.  Literally, years.  Thanks to the good folks at Super Politically Incorrect, I’ve come up with an idea.

THE RULES

1.Readers can nominate a celebrity to be placed on the card.

2. If  a vertical, horizontal, or diagonal pattern of five or the Four Corners are dead, a completely new card will be generated. The game ends at midnight on New Years Eve and a new card will be generated.

3. If they’re dead, they’re dead.  You can’t nominate someone for that space.

4.They have to be not only merely dead, but really most sincerely dead! No rumors.

5.You can’t nominate someone who is already dead, that’s cheating.

6.You can nominate one person at a time.  If you’re spamming, we’ll take your first pick and laugh at the rest of them.

8.You can only nominate someone in the comment section below.  For the purposes of this game you cannot use our facebook comment feature.

9.I reserve the right, in my unchallenged opinion to change the rules whenever I get a wild hair up my ass.

10.I determine who does and does not get placed on the card.  You can argue.  But I’ll argue back.  May the best comic win.

11.You are strongly encouraged to share this post on social media.

12. The is no Rule Seven.

Go ahead and bookmark this page.  I’ll only update the card from here. The version will be the number in the top left corner.

ABOVE ALL, ROOT FOR YOUR FAVORITE AND HAVE FUN