Your Website has Malware on It!

Well…maybe it doesn’t.

FOUND THIS ON THE INTERNETS

Hell hath no fury like an angry webmaster who hasn’t yet had her coffee.

This is an email  received from the “security” firm SiteLock, a partner company of the popular website hosts HostGator.com and Bluehost.com.

Notice the wording:  One or more of the domains you own has malware on it.
Fairly clear, right?  One of her sites is infected with malware…it says so right in black and white.  Bad news, but I’ve never been one to hit the panic button before it’s time.

I calmly go to HostGator’s tech support “Live Chat” to ask them about this.  I paste the email into the box so the technical support rep can see what I’m contacting them about.  I ask: Is this legitimate? What happens next?

Over the course of the conversation, I learn from the tech dude that SiteLock is their partner company. And I learn, in fact, there’s no evidence of malware. The site MIGHT be infected, he says, but no one really knows for sure.  In order to truly find out, my client would need to purchase an expensive malware prevention package from SiteLock, so they can peek inside and see if there’s malware there.  If there is, they’ll charge another fee to get rid of it.

 

Hemming and hawing ensue.


I’ll spare you the gory details of my response, which nearly set the curtains ablaze. I want you to think I’m much more patient and kind than I happened to be this morning.

Why am I bothering to tell you this?

Well…aside from being angry about a concerted effort to drum up business by sending good people into a panic about their website?  Good people who might not be terribly techie, or who may be busy…..gosh I don’t know….building their business?  So instead of helping depressed people, doing reiki healing, selling their art, finishing their book, booking new coaching clients or raising kids they have to spend their life energy dealing with service provider scams—from the very people they are already paying every month to keep their website running.  Infuriating.

Sorry. I got carried away.

In short:  Anyone whose website is hosted with the company HostGator.com, or with Bluehost.com, its partner company under the conglomerate parent company EIG, is likely to receive one of these emails soon, if you haven’t already.  I wanted you all to know what this particular game was, so you can watch for it.

Has Better Deals Been Pissing You Off?

I’m not another bullshit site that wants to sell you something or ruin your day by installing Malware like Betterdeals. Read this post and I’ll tell you how I finally got my computer back.

So back in February I downloaded something and suddenly I was barraged by pop up ads, new page redirects other assorted bullshit like my computer speed going to just about zero.  I’ve been trying this and that to kill whatever crawled into my laptop.  Spybot wouldn’t kill it.  Mcafee was useless.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had Spybot and  Mcafee for years  but they were getting their ass kicked.

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I noticed that something called Better Deals was lurking at the bottom of most of these ads.   Searched and searched for something that would kill Better Deals.  No dice.  What I found were sites that would cheerfully sell me something to kill it.  I have a strict policy of not paying for shit so I kept looking for “procedures” to remove Better Deals.  The first was advice on how to uninstall Better Deals. Right.  It wasn’t on the program list in my control panel, so that was going nowhere.

 

Then there were procedures  to fuck with my Firefox browser.  If I had the patience and guts to follow them, that might have worked. But no, ain’t going there.  Same thing for procedures to manually clean my register.  I had done that before to get rid of another nasty piece of shit.  But when your pc pops up with a warning that says, “Do not proceed unless you are really sure of what you’re doing.  If you have doubts about your skills we do not recommend editing your registry because fatal damage to your computer might result.”  I have turned a few computers into paperweights over the 30 years that I’ve been building and fixing computers so my advice is to heed that warning.

 

Did I mention I was lazy?  I wanted to find a program that would kill this shit while I watched Shark Week.  While dealing with Real Life, I found myself on the phone with a nice lady named Aspen. While she was helping me with my Real life problems, we spent a lot of time waiting for my pages to load and me killing the fucking pop ups.  While we were waiting I explained my woes about Better Deals and how much I hated the asshats that wrote it.  ASPEN TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO SEARCH THE INTERNET TO FIND AN ANSWER.  She then cheerfully emailed me a link.

 

The site had the same bullshit “procedures” but they did offer FREE software that they promised and swore would do the job.  Boy did it ever! It killed Better Deals deader than Kennedy and a couple of other turds I didn’t know about.  As a customer service to my readers I’ve weeded out the two or three sites I had to wade through to get to the meat.

 

HERE IT IS

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If this post led you to an answer to your problems please click the donate button up there on the right that I’ve trickly labeled “DONATE” and throw me a couple of bucks or $5 or $10 but NOT $49.99 unless you’ve got money to burn.  If that’s your situation feel free to donate $100.