If you met Lissa in public, she would give you what we call “The June Cleaver Treatment”. She would have impeccable manners and be very polite and proper. However, she was the perfect wife;
“A Lady in the parlor. A chef in the kitchen and a whore in bed”.
She was my soul mate. It’s a pity that she was psychotic.

I’m quoting Jerry Hall.

Jerry Hall was married to Mick Jagger (of the Rolling Stones) and is,
perhaps, the most famous Texas model. She came a long way from the woman who once worked at a Dairy Queen in Mesquite, Texas.

Hall said she had this advice on keeping a man like Mick: “My mother said it
was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in
the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.” Hall then added her personal touch to
that advice.


When we were dating, I took Lissa to The Beach. It was a huge disco on Paradise Blvd. in Las Vegas. It was featured on MTV. You can drink shots off of the waitresses’ (or waiter’s) belly. The dance floor was huge and encircled by the second-floor balcony.

I also took a friend of mine. So, I had not one, but two blondes in little black dresses. It was my friend’s birthday and her dirt bag husband didn’t want to celebrate. When they both went to the Little Girl’s Room like women do, a guy walked up to our table. “Are you with both of them?”, he asked.
“Yeah, you can dance with them. But I’m taking them home.”
He sent a pitcher of beer to our table and danced with them all night long.


When they got alone in the bathroom Lissa said;
“Back off Bitch, I’m on a Meat Hunt.”
“No worries”.
It was then they recognized each other. They were both born and raised in Vegas and their Dads were both in the Mob. Lissa’s Dad was part of Tony “The Ant” Spilotro’s “Wrecking Crew”. He was working the jack hammer when they got busted trying to break into Jarrad’s Jewelers on Charleston Blvd.

It was then that some chick walked in and asked them if either was “banging that guy they were with.” They grabbed her and gave her a swirly in the toilet. I’ve always tried to picture that moment. Two hot blondes in cocktail dresses holding another upside down into the toilet with one of them working the handle with their foot. In heels.

Later, my friend said, “Marry her. She’s you in a dress.”

CASINO- The Movie

Shortly after marrying a Vegas Girl, I rented Casino. I popped the tape in and we started watching.  Lissa didn’t say a word through the whole thing.  Well, except for once.  It was the scene where Robert DeNiro and Sharon Stone are arguing at home.
Lissa said:

“They had that big ass white fireplace, but they didn’t have a golf course in the backyard.  Just grass and a pool like the rest of us.”


“That kid they’re fighting about, she continued, “she never got her shit together.  Now she’s a Crake Whore on Fremont Street with five welfare kids.’

Growing up in Vegas, Lissa called Frank Sinatra, “That Lounge Singer”.  Jerry Lewis was “a drunk and not very funny.”  She knew that the Black Chip could buy any dress in the casino and she was supposed to get a job at the Sands.  But then they blew up it.