Mc Hatin’ It

Excluding the stuff they try to sell in Japan, here are some things you might have seen on the McDonald’s menu.

Originally banned from McD’s,, the McDog snuck back into the menu when Ray Kroc died.
Still a big hit in Canada.


Onion nuggets were the perfect side for the McBeefsteak. Probably one of McD’s best sandwiches, it killed itself by being sold for a whopping $1.49 when a burger was 49 cents.

A full sized family pizza was McDonald’s attempt to break into the dinner market.  It was just as good as everyone else’s pizza.  However the long cook time had customers not McWaiting for it.

Mighty Wings were good but died because other wings were better.

 

Died a quick death in California.

THE SECRET MENU

If you ask for it, they’ll make it for you.

The Apple Pie McFlurry
McNapolean Shake. You can ask for it built horizontal as shown or vertical.

 

S.E.A.L. Burger.

Not just for frogmen, this monster burger combines beef from the land, fish from the sea, and chicken from the air.

(No shit)

Not so hungry?  Ask for a McGangBang instead. We dare you.  We double dog dare you.

The McKinley Mac

If they don’t know it by name, just ask for a Big Mac with Quarter Pounder patties.

Before calling the McPrimerib bullshit, you might like to know that Boston Market is McDonald’s.

 

Surprise the Family this Thanksgiving

Pete on facebook posted something that looked photoshoppy.  The crack investigative team here at The Puppy  separated fact from fiction.  Fiction lost.

Behold, The Turkraken!

Yes, Loyal Readers some creative/sick people have taken Holiday dinners to a place no one has gone before.

turkwhatthefucken
Thanks Pete.

Recipe:

Take one unspeakable thing. Turkey, whole. Season it will the usual shit you do every year and cover tightly with foil. 

Add an unknowable horror from beyond imagination. Octopus, whole. Dust the octopus with lots and lots of Rigani (You can use Oregano, you cheap bastard.), freshly ground black pepper and just a pinch of sea salt. Pour over with olive oil and Pinot Noir  (In that order and DRINK!) then throw some of that Rigani on the Turkey while you’re at it. Stuff the Octopodiformes  octopoda into the Meleagris gallopavo.  Let tentacles dangle decoratively out of the Turkey.

Cover everything tightly with foil.

Bake in a pit of eternal darkness  at 350 for two and a half hours.

Remove foil after one hour and 15 minutes.

Serve.

Force family to eat at gun point.

Slowly descend into madness.

Pairs Well With
Pinot Noir
Delicate, floral red wine

Consider stuffing with bacon as well.
If Turkraken is a hit with Loved Ones this year, try jazzing it up next year with King Crab (Go FV Time Bandit!) and BACON!

 

 

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS

turkraken-3rd-place

 

Don’t feel like cooking try…

turkraken-steamers