Surviving COVID-19

corona

COVID-19, also known as the Corona Virus is spreading like rumors that you are a slut. Here are some handy bits of info to help you survive the 2020 pandemic.

symptoms
  • Do not touch anyone.
  • Do not touch your face.
  • Wash your hands at least five times a day.
  • Use hand sanitizer every time you touch something.
  • Make your own sanitizer with aloe vera gel and alcohol.
  • Stay at home.
  • Wear a mask.
  • Use bleach on your door knobs.
  • Never open your front door.
  • Avoid having sex.
  • Only eat canned food and only after you sanitize the can.
  • Drink as much alcohol that you can tolerate to sanitize your internal organs.
  • If you must go out, burn your clothes upon your return.
  • Forget using toilet paper. Instead, shower every time you poop.
  • Wash your money.
  • Rain spreads the Corona Virus.
  • Try to get every one you know arrested.
  • Push “sketchy” family members out the door.
  • Sanitize or kill your pets.
  • If you don’t have rubbing alcohol, make sanitizer with aloe vera and gasoline.
  • Avoid being abducted by aliens.
  • Shave all hair from your body.
  • Shave the pets you want to keep.
  • Give sleeping pills to your small children you so they no longer want to play outside.
bingo
  • Make cleaning you guns a family activity.
  • Fire bomb your car.
  • Destroy your television and any device that connects to the Internets.
  • If a family member coughs, murder them and burn their body.
  • Kill yourself to prevent infection,

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