When the 37th Tactical Fighter Wing deployed to Desert Storm 247 people went through the DT’s.
Life on the Tonopah Test Range was harsh. Stuck in the middle of a God forsaken desert for a week at a time, Team Stealth partied hard. When you walked through the doors of the Rec Center you were in a hallway. The Weight room was on the right and the Bar was on the right. You were always confronted with the dilemma. Should I get work out and then get drunk or should I get drunk and then fuck around with the rowing machines. You had to prove to the pool room monitor that you were sober before they’d let you swim in the Olympic sized stainless-steel swimming pool.
Saudi Arabia’s no alcohol policy caused some problems and sparked creativity. One gentleman got a kidney infection when he downed three cases of O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer. We personally celebrated New Years’ with Nyquil. Might I recommend the Green with Seven-Up on ice.
One night found me at ops. A pilot noticed that my morale needed a boost and took mercy on me. “Here son, let me show you something”. He took me into a small room. A couple of table and chairs. A fridge stocked with sodas. One whole wall was cabinets. Just when I thought I might be offered a blowjob, he closed the door and said, “Turn around.”
The back of the door was completely covered in porn. Lots of playboy and “action” shots.
“We call this the “What are We Fighting for Wall.”, he said.
“Are you thirsty?”
With that he slid back the bottom cabinet. There were two shelves inside. One had twelve feet of bottles of Scope mouthwash. Bottom had 12 feet of Listerine.
“What’ll you have. Vodka or Scotch.”
GOD BLESS THE 37TH TFW OFFICER’S WIVES CLUB!
They were sending care packages to the fighter pilots they loved so far away.
The Scope bottles had vodka with green food coloring. The Listerine bottles, scotch and water.
I had one scotch and water and coke……on ice.