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Don’t Even Think About Asking

Last Saturday The Senate passed the Bill which will lift the ban on Homosexuals from serving in the military. As if they asked permission before this. Back in the 80’s I had these two guys buying me steak dinners all the time begging for me to take one up the ass.  Uh….no.  I had a female Flight Chief (read platoon sergeant, or department head) who liked pussy more than me. Cock blocked me she did, twice on TDY.

Read up on this little ditty by clicking here. When fully implemented it will change “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” to “Can’t Tell, Don’t Brag”. I find it ironic that the LGTB mafia got this passed by screaming that people should not be kicked out of the military because they might kiss a girl and like it. Now that it’s becoming law, you will be drummed out if you disagree with Alternative Life Styles. Even if your RELIGION opposes this off road racing.


There will be two Zero Tolerance Issues in the U.S. Military.

1, No unauthorized nuclear yields. Can’t nuke anything without permission.

and

2. Zero tolerance of anyone who disagrees (with homosexuality)  for any reason , including “moral or religious beliefs.”

If you hate Fags, you’re out. We don’t care if you can serve your country just as well.


In the past, if during your enlistment physical you popped a boner when the Doc told you to turn your head and cough, you were asked to leave the room (and the building and the city and the State and MY Air Force). I guess now they’ll send you to Officer Training School. Especially if you’re female.


STRIPES

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or…
Recruiter: Well, it’s a standard question we have to ask.
Russell Ziskey: No, we’re not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.



Looks like these questions should also be on the military entrance exam by replacing the “if” with “do you”.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
queer.
It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
Spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet…Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer–
It grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
Touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think
About how you call a dog….. ‘Killer, come here! I said get your ass over
here, Killer!’ Now think about how you call a cat…’Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!’ Jeeez, you’re so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest
assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws,
raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and
you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his
toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you’re as fairy as
Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy
Latte’. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man
there too…

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four
Different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be
handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in
his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse
you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or
denim,  you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying
to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he
needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, scratch his
nuts or hold his beer.

See you at the Discharge Review Board.

FURTHER READING
DoD Support Plan for Implementation


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Ken Rankin December 21, 2010, 05:23

    Look at the bright side…now we can start filing endless claims of being sexually harassed in the workplace. I use the nature vs. nurture excuse in those moments.

    “Why did you break his jaw?”

    “Well, his nurturing started to involve his boner, so my animal side kicked in and I defended my territory. It was a natural reaction…oops.”

    There were two types of women on the flightline, those who could do their jobs and those that were busy getting pregnant. Hell, as soon as one showed up, everyone started a pool trying to bet how long before she was sitting behind a desk with a bun in the oven. This will go the same way in its own special version of strange.

    Ironically, I have had a few gay friends and I don’t think this will be a huge problem. No flamer is going to end up with a tool box for long any more than some other people that were thinned out by natural selection. Hell, in combat, it now gives me an edge. I can give the guy a goal by telling him if we get out alive he has a date for the military gay ball. I draw the line at the suggestion to switch to platform combat boots though.

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