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Do Your Kids have Alien Playmates?

Have you ever considered setting up a play date with aliens?  There can be an upside that you haven’t thought of. Right off the bat it’s a free service. It keeps them busy on those nights when you’ve got to get some sleep and they won’t go to bed. They’ll wake up in the morning all refreshed and plenty of stories to regale you with at the breakfast table.

They might not be so keen about the idea at first. You might want to ease them into by watching movies together. “E.T” is a good one. “Paul'” works for say, tweeners and up. For a good all around family fun night you can’t beat “Close Encounters”.  The latter works really well if they already think Dad is nuts.

Some parents worry about they kids wandering around outside at night in their jammies. These tend to tuck their little ones into bed fully clothed and maybe a jacket for wintertime. I assure that the experience is climate controlled through the whole shebang.

Are you concerned about failing grades. It’s ET to the rescue. From preschool through high school, their grades will go through the roof. Fluency in other languages is a frequent by product of some nighttime fun. Sometimes it’s not even an earth language. How cool is that? Imagine the surprise of your fellow parents when on the next visit little Johnny or Susie belts out some Pleiadian.  Bonus points if the neighbor’s kids talk back to them.

 

Other parents worry that their children might be harmed. Although some scrapes and bruises have been known to happen no serious harm has been recorded. Just the opposite is the norm. Head colds and allergies are cleared up. Bones have been knitted together. Tonsils have been fixed. Chicken Pox and Measles just go away.  In one case, a 12 year old girl in Oklahoma got a brand new kidney. Even if your kid does get cut open, anally probed or impregnated, let’s face it neither they nor you will ever remember it. It’s a win, win situation.

 

 

Your kid's show and tell will ROCK their school!!

 

 

 

 


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Ken Rankin July 4, 2012, 08:00

    To make the experience more socially acceptable, I suggest referring to them as “special friends” or “imaginary friends” and not go into too much detail. They are likely not officially cleared to be here and you know the currenty charged climate involving illegal aliens.

  • walt313 July 4, 2012, 08:49

    You are absolutely correct sir. “Imaginary Friends” it is.

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